It is now a short while after the affair, you have gone past the initial bomb shock and ready to make the ‘what’s next’ decision on your marriage.
You have tried your best to amend the marriage but it seems that you just can’t live with the burden, the image of him cheating on you keeps on playing in your head.
You are considering a divorce…
But what are the the things that are important when considering a divorce? Too often people make judgement without being clear about what factors they need to take into account.
Of course, having a relaxed and clear mind is very important when it comes to making a big decision after the affair – such as divorce.
The following are some factors that you should take into account:
1. Make sure you are emotionally ready to take the leap.
Ok, living with your spouse seems impossible for you after the affair. However, surviving divorce is not an easy task either and you need to know what to expect.
Emotionally ready is nothing to do with kids, finances and everything else. It is the ability of your emotion to handle the divorce.
Of course, if you decide that staying in a really bad marriage is worse, go ahead and see the next factor.
2. Make sure you have considered the financial factors, the kids and any house that you own under both spouses’ name.
Too many people just decide on a divorce after the affair is discovered, without thinking about how they would handle their finances, and who would have custody to the kids.
Having said that, some people would decide that finance as a factor to consider is not as important as your own feeling. At the very least though, you should have some kind of savings to sustain living on your own for a while. You also need to have a plan on how you deal with your finances after.
(This can be taken care of, when you’re ready have a look at this site dedicated to help women take control of their divorce – will open in new window).
3. Other people who are involved and affected by your decision
This would primary be kids, common friends, parents and family. Weigh up how much they would be affected by your divorce and how important are they as factors in considering your divorce.
Remember that staying in a marriage solely for the kids is not necessarily the best idea.
Look into what your decision will do – whether or not it will improve your life or the life of the people that matters to you.
Making a decision such as this is a very difficult task to do even for a very valid reason such as ‘infidelity’. This is because there are a lot more things involved when it comes to a divorce including emotional and financial ties, family and even kids.
A divorce is harder decision to make when compared to ending a long term relationship.
Conclusion: There are clearly different things you should consider when it comes to divorce. However, sometimes it does worth it to take the extra effort rather than staying in a bad marriage after the affair.
After all, you don’t want to live a miserable life – and if a divorce has to be done. It HAS to be done.
P.S. Oh one more thing, I know that some religion believes in the fact that marriage is a forever vow. You’ve made that vow in front of God. But hey… I guess the vow is no longer valid as soon as your partner breaks the part where he says ‘…staying FAITHFUL til death do us apart’…
— What if you want to make that decision – but afraid that you cannot handle the financial side of things? Make sure you see this site if you are considering divorce after the affair