When asked a question about the reasons behind cheating men, I am happy to say that I have an advantage in finding out the answer as most of my friends happen to be male.
Cheating men are everywhere, and they come in many forms.
Many surprised me. ‘They just do not look like the type at all – you know, those typical playboy who love their night scene’.
I once had a friend who was successful (let’s call him A) has what my modern girlfriends refer to as the four C’s (Condominium, Car, Cash and Credit Card), and yet he cheated on his girlfriend of ten years.
‘I am bored in my relationship, I just can’t help it, there are many fish in the sea’ – those are the answers my friend A came up with.
Is it true though? There must be a motivation and or reason behind everything. Whatever they are, the following are the real reasons why men cheat:
1. It’s in their gene
Well, this is the hardest for me or other women to accept, so I am going to get it out of the way. Although we expect ourselves to be able to control our bodies and make decisions, it’s not always the case. It is the nature of men. They are simply not satisfied with the word ‘monogamy’.
‘I just need something new once in a while’, ‘I got too used to her’, are several of the comments I’ve heard from few different cheating men.
Monogamy only happens when they finally rank the value of love and relationship above the shagging part.
So the good news is: Although men have some sort of hormonal genetic urge to just have uh..offsprings, once they are involved in a loving relationship with you they are able to control themselves and stay faithful.
2. She is not what I originally was attracted to
Yes believe it or not, men are still visual creature – and they just can’t help wanting the ‘greener grass on the other side’. This is specifically if you have fallen into the ‘relationship laziness’ stage.
No matter how much friendship and love are important to your man, he wants to make love to a hot partner. He wants to satisfy his visual cravings.
This is exactly why his eyes are wandering off to a new direction as soon as their partner become lazy. Couple this with an offered option such as a hot work colleague – it would be very difficult for men to turn that down.
Now it’s not entirely your fault if you have let yourself go. Tell him that you need re-assurance. Tell him ‘Let me feel good, and I’ll make you feel good.’
3. They just need confidence boost.
I remember one of my good friend told me he simply misses his ‘younger times’, this is when they can on any flirting engagement – where most flings are completely harmless.
After all, just knowing that there are multiple women out there who are willing to engage in intimate relationships with this group of cheating men is a huge confidence booster.
Their confidence just boost when they can attract women. Sometimes women in relationships make their man pay a price before action in the bedroom. ‘do this and that first…’, ‘honey do the dishes tonight and I’ll reward you’ etc.
This is busting their confidence level. They feel like the women in their life are only wanting to have intimate relationships as a reward. We know, they just want to feel ‘hot’ and desirable by women.
‘Quality over quantity!’ I heard someone say.
Yes that’s right …but really we are not comparing you and those other women out there. We really don’t care what kind of women, or what is it that they find attractive in these cheating men…
It’s not about comparison.
Fortunately some men just need those occassional confidence boost from the women they truly love – and heck why would they risk you for any other confidence booster in the world?
4. It’s the excitement baby.
Some men are just cheating due to the excitement of it all. There is definitely a thrill to it!
Don’t you sometimes wonder why men are so into drag racing (in simple terms: ‘using their super duper modified sport cars to race against fellas with similar interest – hopefully not killing themselves in the process’)
Okay, forgive me for being so bitter about it – I have history.
Anyway, men are into something that:
1. Gives them the thrill and excitement 2. Gives them a chance to ‘show them what I’ve got’ 3. Is inevitably carrying a great risk 4. Might be addictive
which is exactly what cheating can offer. Sometimes they just forget that cheating has a very great risk – losing a very special loving partner.
(See related article: Extramarital affair: Is it worth it? )
5. It’s just for sex.
Women can’t usually relate to this statement. I personally think sex and
making love are very closely related, and maybe so do you.
But, men are not the same. The term ‘sex’ and ‘making love’ are not the same. ‘sex’ does not always ‘making love’.
This is exactly why cheating men can have sexual relationships with other women whilst still loving their current partner. Not many women can separate both terms. For women, if the love isn’t there, the sex will suffer. without exception.
Although, men can be very loving to their partner and stay monogamous. But this is mostly because he doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of making you – someone that he truly loves – brokenhearted.
Okay, those are the top five reasons on why men cheat. However, there are still men out there who just don’t have motivation. I mean, this could be resulting from their family background, or the fact that he wasn’t into you in the first place.
Anyhow, women should also consider a man’s dating history and family background. A good suggestion and tip is that: If he cheats within the first 2 – 3 months of your new relationship. Run…don’t walk to the other direction…he is definitely not worth it girl! don’t even bother analysing why.
So how do you know if he’s cheating? Here are some signs of cheating men