Dating Married Woman - Yes, I relapsed

by Shawn
(Texas)

So this is Shawn again and I relapsed, contacted her again and basically picked up where we left off. Now here I am today, feeling horrible, wishing I had left it as it was. She finally moved out of the house she shares with him. According to her, she told him she wanted out and moved in with her mom. I believe this is true, as I've called her at various hours at her mom's house and she's been there.

But yesterday was his birthday and she told me he had taken both yesterday and the day before off. Well, she told me she was going over to the house they shared the night before his birthday so they could talk about how to proceed with the divorce, finances, etc.

Actually, let me back up just a minute before I go further. We live in separate states and basically, she wanted me to come get her and bring her to mine, into my home. I of course wanted her to be divorced first. Okay, so back on track, she tells me she is going to discuss the next step with him.

Well, I hear nothing from her. No emails (like she normally sends every evening), no nothing. As a result, I know something is up. I send her an email asking if she is still there. I go to sleep. I wake up the next morning and she has sent me an email at 2:30am saying yes, she is still at their house and had fallen asleep. She claims there was no sex (as she puts it, there never was hardly sex anyhow) and that he was so boring, he put her straight to sleep. But she did say she felt guilty that he was alone on his birthday and felt powerless to tell him no, she did not want to spend his birthday with him.

So I tell her I'm not stupid and due to my jealousy, I accuse her of having sex with him and then driven even further, I say really mean things such as I should get an STD test. Yeah, she may be an adultress, but I do feel bad for saying those things.

So today she has slung all kind of crap my way. Telling me I have jealousy issues, etc because she did nothing wrong other than discuss their next step.

Yeah, I know she's full of crap and relieving her own guilt by throwing everything back on me, but it doesn't make me feel any better. I want to be done with her. I want for this nightmare to be over, so I can breathe again and get my life back on track.

I've spent since June of last year with her telling me she's moving out, only to come up with some excuse at the very last minute. Yet telling me she loves me and wants to be with me.

Please pray for me to stay strong this time.

Comments for
Dating Married Woman - Yes, I relapsed

Average Rating starstarstarstar

Jun 18, 2012
Rating
starstar
waste of time NEW
by: Anonymous

Involving yourself w/ a situation that has yet resolved itself is a BIG WASTE OF YOUR TIME.If she will cheat on her husband this woman has no integrity and certainly can't be trusted.If you have already had sex w/ her it's definatly time to high tail the scene,Sticking around will only get you caught.Once you meet a SINGLE woman and start banging her this cheating married woman you can't trust will become a distant memory I promise.If she calls remind her she's married and you don't feel safe w/ her.And to only call you if she get's a divorce.Otherwise she's risking your life.Her husband will confront you.You don't need that drama when you can have a hundred SINGLE woman to date..Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.Don't forget that.That's what got you into this mess in the first place.Hit it and quit it dude...

Jun 18, 2012
Rating
starstar
waste of time NEW
by: Anonymous

Involving yourself w/ a situation that has yet resolved itself is a BIG WASTE OF YOUR TIME.If she will cheat on her husband this woman has no integrity and certainly can't be trusted.If you have already had sex w/ her it's definatly time to high tail the scene,Sticking around will only get you caught.Once you meet a SINGLE woman and start banging her this cheating married woman you can't trust will become a distant memory I promise.If she calls remind her she's married and you don't feel safe w/ her.And to only call you if she get's a divorce.Otherwise she's risking your life.Her husband will confront you.You don't need that drama when you can have a hundred SINGLE woman to date..Don't let the little head do the thinking for the big head.Don't forget that.That's what got you into this mess in the first place.Hit it and quit it dude...

Nov 27, 2011
Rating
starstar
trust your instincts NEW
by: rudy

You know why she was over there.They're not done with their marriage dude.Time to vacate the situation.Been there done that.Til she's divorced,she'll always be involved to some degree.Why stick around to be burdened by it.I know it sucks.Better to rid of that headache,than to continue to be tormented by it.

Sep 04, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar
Been there, done that, got the tee shirt
by: Anonymous

Hang in there. Don't give up. There is always hope. Relapsing sucks. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt, don't wanna do it again. But I relapsed also.

Hang in there, Dude. Seriously. Life is so painful. But somehow I am convinced that it is more than just the Pursuit of happiness. And that happiness can actually be obtained. I hope you find happiness soon.

Don't ever give up!

Mar 25, 2011
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Victims?
by: Anonymous

I dont believe anyone especially the other man or woman are the victims here. You went into this relationship with eyes wide open but when u dont get what u need u feel betrayed.im sorry but i cant see anyone but the husband. U know if shes willing to cheat on her husband who says shes going to stay faithful to u? Best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. Youre playing with fire.

Mar 25, 2011
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You made your bed.....
by: Anonymous

Just out of curiosity do u not think ur worth more than half a woman? Half a relationship? I just dont get the lack of self importance. Idont understand what it is. U feel betrayed and unloved by her.welcome to her husbands world. U make excuses for your bad decisions then blame her. Get your self respect back!

Mar 19, 2011
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im got the same prolem
by: Anonymous

mariela O. played me like that but think she screwing some guy at wk

Mar 16, 2011
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In Return
by: Carol

Hey Shawn,

You posted for me once before.

I'm sorry to hear you relapsed but I DO understand. I did it about 15 times in 3 years. It's so hard to get away.

You know in your heart what she's doing, don't you??????????

You are just her little play thing. The play with us and put us back into their toybox until next time.

They scatter crumbs of hope for us to keep us interested.

It is an addiction.

I have been clean for three months tomorrow. It's still hard.

Now I am starting get different perpectives on the whole affair.

My present feeling is that I never really knew this person. He could have been anything or done anything before I knew him... he could be a wife abuser.... WHO KNOWS?

All I know is what he was with me and that's all you will ever know too.

Run like hell Shawn. She' having her cake and eating it too.

I have realised in the last three months, that even if MM had left his wife, it would have been a terrible disaster. The aftermath of it all would have destroyed us both.

Good luck and I am thinking of you.... PLEASE try again.

Carol


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