Susan was hysterical and acted completely out of her mind when she discovered her husband was having an affair with a work colleague. She turned violent towards her husband and kicked him out of the house that very second. Of course, she later regretted this move…
This is a fast and quick article that may well save your marriage – even if you don’t feel like you want to save it at this very moment. Whether or not you decide to stay or go is completely different story – you want a GOOD decision.
Okay, so you caught your husband cheating or red-handed with no preparation that you’ll be dealing with infidelity. Actually, you have been suspecting it for some time, but surely you haven’t convinced yourself that he WAS cheating…until today.
So before unwanted things happen, let’s focus now on what you should NOT do when dealing with infidelity.
1. Important: Do not make decision to leave or put him out as yet
No, not now. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t eventually choose this, but just don’t do it the very moment you catch him cheating.
It will be easier to deal with infidelity if both parties are still living in the same roof. It’s human nature to wonder what the other party is doing, how they are going, and it may well drive you crazy if you decide to make him leave you right this very moment.
Imagination is wilder than facts – and the last thing you want is to imagine what he’s doing or whether or not the affair continues right now.
Plus, you can even see how he is dealing with infidelity himself (even if he’s the cheater) so you can have a better idea of what future you might have with this guy.
And if you want to try to work things out – it will be much easier when he’s there.
2. Don’t focus on the other woman – you’re just wasting your energy
Most women with imagination will be curious about the other woman (Curious is an understatement). You want your husband to answer all questions that you have about his other woman.
You ask in a rather demanding tone – hysterical demeanor about the other woman. This is just wasting your energy. It is not about who he has an affair with, the other woman is simply playing a role of ‘the other woman’.
Knowing every little details of what your husband has done with the other woman is not going to help you in dealing with infidelity. Calling and threatening the other woman is even worse – trust me this will frustate or even humiliate yourself in the end.
Also, know that she’s not having a nice life herself – having an affair with a married man is disasterous in itself. If you call her names or attack her with your words your usband/partner may jump to her defense. This will frustrate you even more.
She’s not the issue, she could be anyone. Your husband is THE issue because he is cheating on you.
3. Don’t broadcast his cheating – especially to other men who seems understanding
You don’t want to humiliate yourself even more.
It is true you will definitely need a friend to help you deal with infidelity, but you don’t want to be the subject of ‘hot goss’ around the block.
Can you trust the person/people you are confiding in?
***google336x250Cheat.shtml***Never discuss or confide in another man about your husband affair. You are vulnerable at this stage and the last thing you want is to fall in a rebound relationship with a completely wrong person altogether.
You need to let go of your emotional baggage and you don’t want to get into trouble.
The decision on whether or not you want to work on your marriage in the end is completely up to you. Every affair and situation is different, it’s not a straight yes or no answer.
Consider advantage and disadvantage or staying vs leaving.
Read the article: Dealing with infidelity: Should I stay with or Leave my cheating partner? – This is only if he cheats ONCE, provided a second chance MIGHT be possible.
If he has cheated on you more than once, or if you’ve been in the relationship with this guy for a relatively short time (2 years or less) read this instead: Why cheating in relationships is simply a deal breaker
In dealing with infidelity, there are different course of action that can be taken. but most people forget that the most important thing is knowing what NOT to do when you discover his affair, especially the very next hour after the bomb is dropped.