DIDNT TELL ME HE WAS MARRIED AND PLANNED A BABY WITH ME!!!
We met almost three ago. As always everything in the beginnig is bliss. Spent weekends together and nights. He lived an hour away from me but still came to visit at least 3 times a week. After the first 3 weeks of dating i started to get that gut instinct feeling that something wasnt right but i ignored it. Im thinking its the distance and him telling me he is a single father living with his grandmother i made it as an excuse for why i was feeling the way i was.
After 4 months of dating he started to bring up to me wanting more children. I didnt take him too serious even though in both of our careers we were both ready. Four months later i get call from him saying that he wants to start a family with me. In five weeks we got pregnant with my first child. And thats when things went down hill. His attitude completely started to change towards me like he just didnt care. Three times a week went to twice a month the most. Never went an appoitment and stalled on me when it came to my finding out the sex and seeing our child for the first time.
I was still feeling that gut instinct something wasnt right. I never suspected him to be married. I thought maybe a girlfriend. when we were apart it was like he didnt know me. When he was around everything felt perfect. This is when things changed. After giving birth 3 weeks later i recieived a phone call from his phone. I expected him to be on the other line but it was her..the wife. Of course she knew nothing about me or our child. I come to find out during our conversation that were 15 other women. And he lied to me about his age,name,where he lived.
All i could do was cry. And she cried. I apologized because he never told me he was married. I felt so hurt, humilated and betrayed. All i could think was why would he take it to this level of planning a child with me knowing the truth from the beginning?? Still to this day i dont have the answer.
I received apologies from him and asking me not to leave promising he would fix things. But she is telling me that he is denying our child and promised he would not leave her. He wanted to work things out. Even though i knew she couldnt be lying i couldnt accept it. Since then he is a father in our child life and i tried to hold on as long as i could hoping that what he was telling me was the truth. As time past I started to see the truth. We will never be together and i will never be able to trust him or the things he says.
I have to accept that we will only be parents and nothing more. I cant just turn my back on him and lose contact because we have a bond forever and that just make letting go even harder for me. Everyday im trying a lil harder to let go and rebuild myself emotiionally and mentally. I hope that one day i will lose this unconditional love that i have grown so deeply for him and to give to give it to man that truly deserves it.
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