You subconsciously (or consciously) lie to your spouse, betray their trust in terms of what you think of this specific friend of yours, and it can take long time to overcome.
First of all, you can be sure you are involved in an emotional cheating when you have a close relationship with one member of the opposite sex – and you admit there might be something more to it than just a platonic friendship. In fact I’ve written an article on it. Read ‘Emotional affair vs Friendship: Is that ‘friend’ starting to play with your emotion?’ (will open in a new window)
No matter how this special friendship began, the first remedy to an emotional affair is a choice made by you to protect yourself and your relationship.
You have to get ready to take yourself away from it. You have to believe that you can get out of it. A promise to yourself to ‘never act out on your attraction toward this special friend of yours’ is just not enough.
These are some of the things that you can do to take yourself out from this dangerous cheating capacity:
1. Set a clear boundary. Know that a boundary is ‘a boundary’, there is never a time where you can just say ‘Oh well..’, ‘just this time’ etc.
2. Try to avoid being in a romantically possible situation with the friend you are attracted to. Some says, ‘if you can’t handle it, don’t go there’.
3. Refrain from saying bad things about your spouse. Bring up at least one good thing about your spouse when talking to this friend of yours.
4. When your friend tell you a story, try to sometimes secretly imagine what your spouse will do in those situation.
5. Refrain bringing up emotional issues you are having in your marriage or relationship. Save that for a same-sex friend that you trust and or your marriage counselors.
6. Try not to have rendesvouz with work colleagues too often outside work. It is even more dangerous when you spend time outside work with your ‘regular work colleague’.
7. Think before you act when it comes to your friend. Is it acceptable?
On a side note, I never personally believe a platonic friendship can form between a woman and a man. However, I must say that hanging on to a great friendship is a must.
However so, there are times when friendship can turn into something more once boundaries are crossed, and that’s when you should take the big step back to protect yourself from the possible emotional affair.
Emotional affair vs Friendship: Is that ‘friend’ starting to play with your emotion?
Emotional affair can damage just as much as physical affair. When you commit your time, your heart and emotion to someone else instead of your partner, it can definitely be a risk to your relationship.