In my opinion, emotional infidelity is worse than a one-off physical affair. This normally happens when he (or she) spends a lot of time together with someone from work or other social community and somehow ‘fell for this so-called third party homewrecker’.
If he had a physical affair – like your spouse was drunk and had a one night stand on one weekend, you could just shrug it off as “Oh it is a one off thing and really his heart belongs to me”. However if he actually tells you “I am in love with someone else”, that is very devastating.
What if your spouse is actually involved in an emotional infidelity, can you increase the odds of saving your marriage?
First of all, some women who find their husbands are having emotional affair with other woman will want to save their marriage – and their first reaction would be doing everything that the cheating husband ever wants or needs – ‘smothering’ them in the process.
They also start asking lots of questions such as “Am I doing this right honey?” or “What can I do to make you happy?” or “Anything I can do better so you can love me again” – you get the idea.
Now unfortunately this does not work most of the time. He is cheating on you and therefore he has ‘other excitement’ he supposedly wants and needs.
Plus, doing this will actually rise your insecurity level more and more – until you lose your self-esteem altogether. Especially if he starts dropping in some comparison between you and his other woman.
He was cheating in the first place, and it wasn’t your problem at all! Why are you trying to fulfil all his needs now like it was your fault in the first place?
Here is what you should do: Back off (This would be temporary and when you come out on top later, it’s time to turn the table around girl…)
So yes, stop trying to ‘fulfil his needs’, stop asking questions, pretend that you don’t care – well, almost… and stop making requests all together!
Be patient because you cannot make any request when he feels like he’s got that other woman if anything happens between you two. Only when he realises that his ‘infatuation’ state with the other woman faded, and hat you are really someone that he needs, THEN you can make your ultimatums request whatever you want to do.
I admit this is hard to do, because you will have the urge to ask him pretty much what he’s up to. However, try your best – get professional coachings if you needs to.
After all, he may have taken you for granted and now is the time for him to realise it. So rather than cooking him really nice meal to get him back – do the opposite…don’t cook at all!
Now this is another key thing that you cannot do: be your ‘nice self’ (You know, the one that cooks and sweet) only once a week or something. Do it sparsely that he will MISS IT.
This will be a really good tactic to face his emotional infidelity, not to mention less asking will be less painful answers for you…