This is one unique article I’ve written on how a person can slip into an extramarital affair – sometimes without realising it. Let me start by saying a statement: unless you have little morals or conscience, I can safely bet that no one wants to be involved in an affair intentionally.
There are always patterns and signs – the same one over and over again to supposedly show warning signs you’re about to be involved. However, these signs are sometimes too easy to be overlooked and therefore many people don’t even believe it’s there until they’re stuck in the emotional rut.
And when you finally realise, getting out will not be an easy task as it involves breaking someone’s heart – including yours. So how can you be made aware of the extramarital affair danger? Read on to see the warning signs.
Most affairs begin when a person starts having some kind of connection with someone else other than their spouse. This can start anywhere: in the office, the regular social group, basically anywhere a person can create a friendship with someone else – whether or not attraction exists at this stage. This is not yet dangerous in any way – conscience and logic are still in place.
The friendship formed will then become closer – the very beginning of emotional affair is here. More stories are being swapped between you and your friend – including the more intimate stories about your current relationship with your spouse.
Now before we go any further, realise that a close friend – no matter how close is not your spouse. I can bet again that this friend has not had a chance to show most of his/her bad habits and behaviour; and to be honest you know this person mostly based on his/her words rather than action.
At this time your friend may start giving you solutions to your problems, sharing personal opinions – everything that sounds good to your ear and matches with your value.
Before you know it, you start comparing your spouse with your friend – and this is starting to get dangerous. You may already be emotionally involved with your friend to some degree – but of course you still have your conscience and extramarital affair may still be out of the picture.
Finally, things become very dangerous when deeper emotional sharing occurs. This leads to emotional affair – a feeling of closeness and understood. You start fantasizing about your friend – not necessarily in a sexual way, but rather idealising him/her in your head – ‘what if I have a husband/wife like that…’.
At this time very little conscience and logic are being held in place as fantasies start entering your mind. You start idolising this person as a ‘soulmate’ – who you might have met late in the game. This thought, together with the emotional rush an affair can offer will soon have you in the official extramarital affair zone.
Before long, given a good atmosphere somebody will cross the physical line with a kiss or even the hand holding. If the situation permits this may lead to a sexual act – and yes it is a hundred times worse than a one-night-stand as it involves deep emotional intimacy.
It is then too hard to stop…
Ok wake up! I’ve written the above to show you extramarital affairs does NOT just magically happen. It comes with patterns, signs those are easily overlooked to make you believe that it’s part of your destiny. Being aware of those signs will certainly put more logic in your head, arming you with more weapon against the affair.
Remember though, no matter how much you are armed everyone is vulnerable of falling into this emotional rut. Do not overestimate yourself as even you – yes YOU – are just as vulnerable to this as anyone else. Do not think that ‘it will never happen between us’ as you don’t know what your emotions are capable of.
Be aware of boundaries and pay close attention to these signs – don’t let it override your emotions.