Knowing your partner is having extramarital affair with some other woman is devastating – but how do you find out some of the clues you need about it?
How do you find out exactly what he is doing behind your back…and with who is he doing it?
First of all, know that the role of the third party is not as important as why he is doing it in the first place. She can be anyone he turns to due to some problems in the marriage (His problems anyway).
It is up to you whether or not you want to find out about his extramarital affair – but remember that this is your choice for your peace of mind.
1. The Third Party
Ok, this is something that can lead to other clues – hence I put this first. After all, once you have a clearer suspicion on who he is having the extramarital affair with, you have a better guess at the other points that follow e.g. where and when he is meeting her.
This is how you would find out.
Try to jot down a list of names – female names that he has mentioned in the past few weeks or recently. There won’t be many names. Also, since normally affair is unplanned in the beginning, he would have mentioned that name in conversation before.
Usually the other woman has something in common with the cheating spouse, something that can lead him into the ‘infatuation’ stage with her. Yes, so the name will somehow be blurted out…no excuse about it.
Tips: If you happened to have freaked out in the process and he is clear that you are having this suspicion, try to recall the name of person/woman who he talked about just before you have this suspicion.
2. The activity
As you would have guessed, they would do things you wouldn’t want to know about. But beside that, there must also be some other things they do – the things they have in common. Usually this is something that he doesn’t have the opportunity to do with you.
This can be anything that you can think of – even including watching the footy in the stadium. If he and the other woman work in the same company, that can also be their common grounds.
3. The Meeting Place
You should know him well enough to know what he enjoys doing. You should be able to guess where those activities take place easily. For example, you should know where he can do horse riding or motorbiking around your area – with the other woman. Also, don’t be surprised if he meets her in your own area – very close to you as it is somewhere you wouldn’t have suspected.
Another place is the workplace (Somewhere around his workplace).
4. When is he with her?
There is no easy answer for this, meeting his other woman around your area sounds crazy too.
Well, just as you know him, he also knows your schedule. If he normally is oblivious and doesn’t really care about what you do, now he would. He also has a good idea on which ones of your plan you would carry out.
For example, if you take a sick leave on Monday – and you have been whining that you don’t have enough sick leave left, he knows you will be away on Tuesday or Wednesday. Another example: If he knows you are attending your best friend’s birthday party he knows you cannot get out of it.