Facts of being with a MM - PROVEN
I have broken up with my MM for almost 4 months now, and believe me, it has been hard, VERY HARD, but I am proud of myself.
My situation has proven the facts of being with a MM- TRUE!
I was in a controlling 6 year relationship and was dying to get out of it, except when I met the guy I was not looking for anyone at all, and was in the process of trying to move forward in my relationship and working things out, gosh, but when I met this guy my heart skipped a beat (many beats afterwards) and I felt such a connection that I really wanted to be with him, because I felt he was soomeone I could settle down with and make me happy. I was obviously wrong, and things did not turn out the way I expected.
He was in a 7 year relationship, and at the time, he convinced me that they had broken up for a month (stupid me, I should have given that more thought). When we met, i often felt butterflies in my stomach in which I have never experienced with anyone else. I decided to break up with my boyfriend, and hoped with all my heart that I could pursue the relationship with the "new" guy.
His girlfriend was away for a month or so, WHEN they broke up apparently,and so we got together but he told me that he wasnt sure if we should date then because of "work" issues and was afraid that he would neglect me. Naive as I was, I believed him and waited. To my very surprise, He got back with her when she returned but HE WAS still with me. I was SO HURT when he told me, but by then I had already fallen head over heels and felt I couldn't leave him even under though circumstances, So things continued between us for next 11 months.
Here I've selected the facts that I related too out of the 23 facts mentioned: -
Í have lived through it to prove it too!
1. The reality says he is married - he has that big wedding photo hanging on the wall in his home that's just plainly sickening to you.
* Even til today I couldnt see him as being married, as I've never seen them physically together, but even wHen i saw his photos, he hid them from me and mentioned he didn't want to upset me..it use to hurt so much everytime I saw them together!*
2. He is with his wife every night - and he could just be FORCED to do some 'husband obligation' with her tonight..tomorrow...or the next day (who knows).
* He broke the news to me 2 months into our relationship,that he ACCIDENTLY got his girlfriend pregnant, and a 2 months later, they were married*
3. If you tell a good girl friend she will probably slap you for being the other woman.
* I could not TELL ANYONE what was going on in this FANTASY life of mine behind reality (I appeared happy on the outside, but noone had any idea what I was going through) except 4 1 friend which I broke down after 5 months of having to keep everything a secret from everyone EVEN my CLOSEST friends, afraid of judgement and critism, it pained me deeply and I cried EVERYNIGHT before I slept*
6. You could get pregnant with a kid looking just like the married man who you will eventually hate. Talk about reminding you every day of your mistake.
* I was so paranoid about him not being good at being safe, so I often had to get the Morning after pill which I hated doing that*
8. If you end up marrying him - expect some forever guilt, and be insecure of 'the other woman'.
* This would definitely HAPPEN if I conitnued, and even when I was in it..I still felt bad sometimes, except I ignored it because I was so in love with the guy*
11. The longer you stay in a relationship with a married man, the slimmer your chance to have a real relationship.
* TRue, I could Not find interest in any guy in which I hoped too, because my heart was already with someone else, Although I wanted to find the same connection to get out of relationship with my MM*
13. Expect to have the worse imagination of him and his wife during holidays like Christmas and Valentine's day - seriously, he was FORCED to book that deluxe hotel room for two.
* THIS was the MOST painful time for me, because during all these events, I was alone while he was with her, and he only gave me the time during the day (which was not enough to even make me happy. I hated the thought of not being able to be with him during this time, which made me so depressed and terribly lonely, that I wished I could find someone fast to have a normal relationship with*
14. When you manage to take a weekend away with him expect him on the phone with his wife constantly to ruin your mood completely.
* We went away for a week, and during that week, he was talking to her constantly away from me most times, everywhere we went! I hated it, but thought I should be considerate and just let him do what he had too. This put me off so much, that I couldn't take being with him much longer*
17. If he gets caught by his wife she will call countless times a day to 'sort things out between the three of you' during office hours.
* She found out about us, and then I felt that I should end it before he did, because I knew it would hurt me more. I thought that He will chose her if she decided to leave him, but I knew that wasn't going to happen because by this time, her pregnancy was almost due, and I felt bad if he chose me and i thought about her daughter later on and I didn't want her to raise their daughter alone, so I spent last few weeks with him, while she was in sydney and he was in the progress of leaving me in Perth and I knew that was my chance and the best of times to leave the relationship and END IT.*
20. It is very hard for you to find a real guy - who is 100% committed to you because you fantasize about this married man on dates - the image of the wife will then come up and POP! refer to #19.
* I fantasized about myself with my MM everytime I was out with guyfriends, it was not good*
23. A temporary pain of breaking up with the married man is better than the 22 items listed above.
* IT still hurts me now and I still think and miss him every day, but I know that leaving him behind was the best choice I made, and the pain will heal over time, and it will give me the opportunity to finally find a guy that will make me HIS NUMBER 1*
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