Facts of being with a MM - PROVEN

by Sarah
(WA Australia)

I have broken up with my MM for almost 4 months now, and believe me, it has been hard, VERY HARD, but I am proud of myself.

My situation has proven the facts of being with a MM- TRUE!

I was in a controlling 6 year relationship and was dying to get out of it, except when I met the guy I was not looking for anyone at all, and was in the process of trying to move forward in my relationship and working things out, gosh, but when I met this guy my heart skipped a beat (many beats afterwards) and I felt such a connection that I really wanted to be with him, because I felt he was soomeone I could settle down with and make me happy. I was obviously wrong, and things did not turn out the way I expected.

He was in a 7 year relationship, and at the time, he convinced me that they had broken up for a month (stupid me, I should have given that more thought). When we met, i often felt butterflies in my stomach in which I have never experienced with anyone else. I decided to break up with my boyfriend, and hoped with all my heart that I could pursue the relationship with the "new" guy.

His girlfriend was away for a month or so, WHEN they broke up apparently,and so we got together but he told me that he wasnt sure if we should date then because of "work" issues and was afraid that he would neglect me. Naive as I was, I believed him and waited. To my very surprise, He got back with her when she returned but HE WAS still with me. I was SO HURT when he told me, but by then I had already fallen head over heels and felt I couldn't leave him even under though circumstances, So things continued between us for next 11 months.

Here I've selected the facts that I related too out of the 23 facts mentioned: -
Í have lived through it to prove it too!


1. The reality says he is married - he has that big wedding photo hanging on the wall in his home that's just plainly sickening to you.

* Even til today I couldnt see him as being married, as I've never seen them physically together, but even wHen i saw his photos, he hid them from me and mentioned he didn't want to upset me..it use to hurt so much everytime I saw them together!*

2. He is with his wife every night - and he could just be FORCED to do some 'husband obligation' with her tonight..tomorrow...or the next day (who knows).

* He broke the news to me 2 months into our relationship,that he ACCIDENTLY got his girlfriend pregnant, and a 2 months later, they were married*

3. If you tell a good girl friend she will probably slap you for being the other woman.

* I could not TELL ANYONE what was going on in this FANTASY life of mine behind reality (I appeared happy on the outside, but noone had any idea what I was going through) except 4 1 friend which I broke down after 5 months of having to keep everything a secret from everyone EVEN my CLOSEST friends, afraid of judgement and critism, it pained me deeply and I cried EVERYNIGHT before I slept*


6. You could get pregnant with a kid looking just like the married man who you will eventually hate. Talk about reminding you every day of your mistake.

* I was so paranoid about him not being good at being safe, so I often had to get the Morning after pill which I hated doing that*

8. If you end up marrying him - expect some forever guilt, and be insecure of 'the other woman'.

* This would definitely HAPPEN if I conitnued, and even when I was in it..I still felt bad sometimes, except I ignored it because I was so in love with the guy*


11. The longer you stay in a relationship with a married man, the slimmer your chance to have a real relationship.

* TRue, I could Not find interest in any guy in which I hoped too, because my heart was already with someone else, Although I wanted to find the same connection to get out of relationship with my MM*


13. Expect to have the worse imagination of him and his wife during holidays like Christmas and Valentine's day - seriously, he was FORCED to book that deluxe hotel room for two.

* THIS was the MOST painful time for me, because during all these events, I was alone while he was with her, and he only gave me the time during the day (which was not enough to even make me happy. I hated the thought of not being able to be with him during this time, which made me so depressed and terribly lonely, that I wished I could find someone fast to have a normal relationship with*

14. When you manage to take a weekend away with him expect him on the phone with his wife constantly to ruin your mood completely.

* We went away for a week, and during that week, he was talking to her constantly away from me most times, everywhere we went! I hated it, but thought I should be considerate and just let him do what he had too. This put me off so much, that I couldn't take being with him much longer*


17. If he gets caught by his wife she will call countless times a day to 'sort things out between the three of you' during office hours.

* She found out about us, and then I felt that I should end it before he did, because I knew it would hurt me more. I thought that He will chose her if she decided to leave him, but I knew that wasn't going to happen because by this time, her pregnancy was almost due, and I felt bad if he chose me and i thought about her daughter later on and I didn't want her to raise their daughter alone, so I spent last few weeks with him, while she was in sydney and he was in the progress of leaving me in Perth and I knew that was my chance and the best of times to leave the relationship and END IT.*

20. It is very hard for you to find a real guy - who is 100% committed to you because you fantasize about this married man on dates - the image of the wife will then come up and POP! refer to #19.

* I fantasized about myself with my MM everytime I was out with guyfriends, it was not good*


23. A temporary pain of breaking up with the married man is better than the 22 items listed above.

* IT still hurts me now and I still think and miss him every day, but I know that leaving him behind was the best choice I made, and the pain will heal over time, and it will give me the opportunity to finally find a guy that will make me HIS NUMBER 1*

Comments for
Facts of being with a MM - PROVEN

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Jul 25, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
SYDNEY AUST .. TOO
by: Anonymous

THE PAIN AND THE GREIF IS SO SO REAL ..IT HURTS SO SO MUCH BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT??IM FREE .. I MISS HIM SO MUCH BUT IM FREE ... SAD TO SAY .. SHE FOUND OUT BUT I SORT OF FEEL RELEAF AS I TRIED SO MANY TIMES TO SAY GOODBYE BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED ...

I COULDNT LET GO OR SHOULD I SAY WE COULDNT LET GO OF EACH OTHER ... IT ENDED BADLEY AS .. IN THE TIME I WAS WITH HIM I HAD CONFIDED IN A GIRLFRIEND THAT HAD BEEN WHERE I WAS .AS THE PAIN .. AND GUILT .. KILLS YOU ..

HE TRIED TO TELL HIS WIFE WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 6M ........ TRY 3 1/2 YR .. AND FINALY WHEN THE TRUTH CAME .. OUT .. THIS BEING FROM THE WOMEN I TOLD ... (SHE DID IT SO HE WOULD HATE ME SO MUCH HE WOULD NOT TRY TO SEE ME AGAIN .. AFTER THINGS COOLED DOWN)

AND YES HE IS STILL LIEING .. AND SHE HAS BLAMED ME ..... NO NOT HIM . AS SHE THINKS MEN ARE WEAK .. BUT I SHOULD OF KNOW BETTER ... HE CAME TO ME WHEN I WAS IN A VERY SAD AND LONELY MARRIAGE ... I WAS A CARER .. HUSBAND DISABLE .. ABUSIVE AND CONTROLLING, JEALOUSE .. SO I FELL FOR THIS MAN ... I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM ...AND IM SURE HE FELT ..PART OF THAT FOR ME ... AS IT WAS NOT ALWAYS ABOUT SEX .. WITH US ..


SO A LONG STORY SHORT ... I FEEL LIKE I HAVE LOST MY FRIEND, LOVER .. AND YES LOST ALL MY FRIENDS TOO.. OVER THIS .. I FORGAVE MY GIRLFRIEND THAT TOLD HIS WIFE .. BECAUSE SHE DID ME A FAVOUR .. SHE DID WHAT I COULDNT ... SPLIT US UP ... BUT I FEEL SO SAD .. AND GUILTY THAT I MADE IT HARDER FOR HIM AND HIS ..WIFE ...

GOD .. YES I KNOW .. I READ THAT JUST NOW .. AND I KNOW I SHOULDNT BUT I DO ... HE NEVER WAS ANYTHING BUT KIND AND LOVING TO ME .BUT THEN I GET SO MAD.

SAD AND CRY ALL THE TIME ... AS I MISS HIM SO MUCH BUT ...... IM SO SO GLAD ITS OVER ...... AS I FELT JUST AS MUCH PAIN WHEN I WAS WITH HIM AS NOW NOT BEING WITH HIM ... BUT THE PAIN WOULD OF ALWAYS BEEN THERE IF WE HAD OF KEPT IT GOING ........... TO THE PAIN ........ FOR ME NOW ..

THAT WILL EVENTUALLY ..... LESSEN .........IN TIME ... BUT IM FREE ................ SHE HAS TO PUT UP WITH THE LYING CHEATER ........NOT ME ... I CAN MOVE ON ......... HE WILL BE WITH A WOMEN HE DOESNT LOVE ... BUT IS TOO GUTLESS TO LEAVE .. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST ...P

XXX ENJOY YOUR LIFE ...

Jun 08, 2010
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
me tooooo
by: Anonymous

just to say,,,i wrote on here too..titled ime free...just as you say and the others these 23 facts are lived by us all enentually.......its this site that made me think THATS IT,,,,IT HAS BEEN NEARLY 4 MTHS SINCE I DUMPED MY MM,,I SOMETIMES MISS HIM,,but just the thought of wot i went throu,quickly bolts me to reality..i hope you are right about the karma...its just a shame we waste so many years b4 we realise,,these guys are going no-where but bk to their poor wifes...i dont blame the wife in any way,,they are the cheaters that real us in...i took bk my life,,b4 this affair destroyed me.....good luck to all....but remember ladies....no......your situation is no differant to any other woman on here...do not kid your self,,as i did.....that you are going to get that happy endingxxxxxxxxx

Dec 12, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Response to "anonymous"
by: Sarah

Hi there,

Thank you for your comment. I really appreciate your feedback and that it can inspire you and hopefully others in similar situation.
Aww...somtimes you just have 2 chose your mind over your heart and I know it's really really hard, but you will pull through it. Good on you for taking the steps on getting out of it. Goodluck for the rest of it. Be strong and just be patient, things will turn out better in the end after the pain has healed.

Dec 08, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
well done
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain, 1,000 fold and am trying to get away from my situation right now.

the 23 points have been very good to read.

i am hugely inspired to know that time will heal this - thats what i am hanging on to!

i will tell my story soon

lots of love Xx

Dec 07, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Reply: 2 Lady in Sydney
by: Sarah

Hi Lady in Sydney,

Thank you for your comment, I'm happy and very shocked to know that my comment was acknowledged by you and could have helped in ANy way. I know how hard it was when I was in that messy relationship, but now I am currently happily seeing someone ELSE..:) and I know this guy will make me his all because he does everything for me. I am happy with him too, and that must be because I was friends with him for nearly 9 months before considering giving him a chance and I gave myself time to get over my MM..and find myself again. I had a belief that, good things do come to those who wait, and that if I stayed with the MM, karma (if you believe in it) will hit me if I really ended up wit him thus I decided to change that future and leave him alone, because Karma will strike him eventually by itself, and I don't need to save him from his past or "regretful" decisions with his marriage.

I am very happy for you too, that you have found happiness with another person and not the MM...and it's not us that needs to make him happy or satisfied, but himself! and he needs to be decisive about his decisions right? =)They will figure it out themselves when they are left alone in their marriage.



Nov 23, 2009
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Go Girlfriend!
by: Anonymous

Hi Sarah, I really feel your pain. And I have gone through exactly the same thing, all twenty three facts about Married man are just real and I've gone through all that.

But it's been five years now since I broke up with him and honestly, time heals everything. Time heals the pain, and I feel so great that I ended it when I think about it now. Wish that you will also be happy and will find your true man who will make you number 1.

P.S. I'm now in serious relationship and just as an inspiration for you girlfriend, it is possible to love someone else just as much. Granted, it took me over two years to even be able to get into another relationship that I thought the stupid married man has turned me to a lesbian at one stage, but I am now really happy and you can do.

Wish you luck.
Lady in Sydney

In the meantime, please visit other page. Related article:

Will the Cheating husband EVER leave his wife?

"Forget Mr Married" - book by Sally Webb - Officially Published!

Forget Mr Married cover

Finally! Break free from this toxic addiction and RECLAIM your life! You deserve it.
In this new coming up book, explore questions such as "Will he leave her for me?" "Is there a way to make him mine?" "What if he's different?" and most importantly, what you can do to end this constant hurt once and for all.

Book is available through Amazon (paperback) - Click here to buy. Ebook version is also available from ForgetMrMarried.com - Here
P.S. Forget Mr Married is also available to order from any of your local bookstore.