Gone

by Sally
(UK)

I met my MM 18 months ago at a work conference. He told me he was separating from his wife after Christmas (2008) and from that day on we texted and emailed and talked - it was all my dreams come true.


We met for a few weekends...and then his wife found out and her abusive phone calls to me started, warning me to leave him alone. MM insisted that she was just trying to ruin his happiness, that the marriage was over, to just ignore what she said.


A pseudo 'divorce' crept into action, but she withdrew her petition, then MM did, and we were back to square one. Still I hung on - he would leave, he said, after Christmas (2009), after this, after that, after the pigs had flown.
The whole of 2010 so far has been me and him arguing - my frustration reached its absolute zenith and he finally, finally admitted that he was making any excuse not to move out. Even when his wife found a new bloke herself and asked for the house to be sold, he buried his head in the sand.


So last weekend I ended it. I couldn't even speak to him without a diatribe of upset pouring from my mouth.
The pain has been immense. I've been doubled up with it all week, bracing myself against a fresh wave of hurt.


But reading these stories has helped hugely - and the pain and sadness I feel is better than the constant insecurity, frustration and worry I carried with me for 18 months - was he sleeping with his wife, was he lying to me, was he seeing anyone else etc etc? Who needs it? Let it be someone else's problem.


Good luck everyone xx

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Gone

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Feb 22, 2012
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by: Regina

Sally I've been with my MM for almost 3 years. Oh yeah "after Christmas I'll start talking to her about it..." That consisted of him asking her if she thought they should get a divorce since neither seemed really happy. She said she didn't want one. (He is on the road most of the year, gives her his entire paycheck and lives off little, she doesn't have to cook, clean or sleep with him, which, according to him, she doesn't like to do anyway) - so why would she ever even entertain such an idea?? He never once told me it was going to have to be a mutual agreement until now. He wants it to be amicable... Wants to stay friendly... So to you I say congrats. I'm working hard on leaving him shortly. As you said, Sally, all those questions... Is he sleeping with her even though he swears he isn't, will he ever leave her? Let it be someone else's problem... You're an inspiration. I hope I develop the courage soon. I'm withering away inside and dying a little more and more everyday. Thanks for your experience.

Feb 22, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar
Inspiration NEW
by: Regina

Sally I've been with my MM for almost 3 years. Oh yeah "after Christmas I'll start talking to her about it..." That consisted of him asking her if she thought they should get a divorce since neither seemed really happy. She said she didn't want one. (He is on the road most of the year, gives her his entire paycheck and lives off little, she doesn't have to cook, clean or sleep with him, which, according to him, she doesn't like to do anyway) - so why would she ever even entertain such an idea?? He never once told me it was going to have to be a mutual agreement until now. He wants it to be amicable... Wants to stay friendly... So to you I say congrats. I'm working hard on leaving him shortly. As you said, Sally, all those questions... Is he sleeping with her even though he swears he isn't, will he ever leave her? Let it be someone else's problem... You're an inspiration. I hope I develop the courage soon. I'm withering away inside and dying a little more and more everyday. Thanks for your experience.

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