He was my bestfriend...
We've been friends since highschool. Even after highschool, we have gotten closer. He has been part of my family and they absolutely love him. They would even joke around and tell us that him and I should date each other but, of course to us it only meant that our friendship is at risk. Years passed and in 2005, we both dated...but not each other. He met a girl, i met a guy. Typical story. After a year, things went sour between myself and the guy I was dating, my bestfriend was still dating the same girl. We grew distant and rarely saw each other. Around 2009, his brother was celebrating his 21st birthday and threw a party at their house. I was invited and decided to go right after work. I showed up and everyonei knewwas there including my bestfriend of course, and his gf. We all had a few drinks his gf passed out. I was out in the driveway talking on the phone when mybestfriend went outside and came up to me and just kissed me. I was startled even after he walked away. I thought to myself that he was drunk and probably wont remember. Nothing was said after that, but itwasnt awkward either. Like nothing happened. So the year after, we saw each other more only because of our mutual friends. On November od 2010, we decided to celebrate our irthdays together since our bdays are next to each other. We were catchin up since its been forever. Then we decided to take a stroll outside. Away from everyone. Then later on, the unthinkable happened. WE did it. And i know right now every single woman who's man has cheated on them is probably looking down on me, i dont blame you. But awhen it happened, it felt as if this was supposed to happen years ago. Anyway, i hid from everyone after that. I didnt feel the guilt eat me up yet. I stayed away asmuch as i could. Everytime we were at get togethers i did not make anything awkward but i was still cautious. He would just get close but not too close. He tried to kiss me but i simply did not allow it. So present time and i mean days ago, we had a little ger together at my house, after everyone left, he cleaned up the mes that was left. We hung out for a bit and talked. Then he just held me and toldme he wanted to tell me something. I told him i'd rather not know, especially now that he is engaged. He kissed me and then left. Sometimes I wonder what it was that he wanted to tell me.but i also think that by not pushing things to what will be a mistake was a good thing. There is more to the story but I guess i'll never know how he really felt.
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