He's Back...

by Carrie

I dated a married man almost 25 years ago for 3 years (I had sex with him the morning of his wedding.) He did leave his wife, but it didn't work out between us. He has since remarried that woman and has a grown child from the relationship. She did know about our relationship back then, and even threatened to kill me once. I'm sure she remembers my name so he won't be mentioning our contact to her at all. I now want to win; I want to tell her that I gave her all those years to make him forget me, but he didn't. How stupid is that? I'm sure he does remember me, but does he feel the same way I do? As crazy as it sounds, he was the love of my life and I'm sure he knew it.

Today is his birthday (why do I still remember?) so I sent a message of Happy Birthday to him via Facebook. He did write back telling me thanks for thinking of him; after all this time, he has never forgotten me, thinks of me all the time, blah, blah, blah.

So, I made the mistake (and I know it was) of telling him that I still dream about him sometimes. He told me he was happy he was still in my dreams (much safer than being in his bed, I guess.)

So, we chatted back and forth, and he gave me his work phone number (not his home, nor his cell.) He told me he would be in the office at noon if I wanted to call him. I then got another email from him telling me that he'll be in the office from 12:10 - 1:00 p.m. if I chose to call. I didn't call him, but I'm dying to talk to him.

I know my mistake was contacting him in the first place; I've been over him for years, and now he's all that I can think of yet again. Tonight's his birthday; I'm sure he's not sitting in front of the TV dreaming of me. There's probably a big party with the family and friends, something to which I will never be a part.

What do I do? I know that I should never call him or email him again, but I'm not sure I can do that. I've told none of my friends; they all know him from 25 years ago, and hated him then because of what he did to me mentally. He doesn't look as good as he did then (but who does really?); I'm sure he's still a jackass at times as before, but just being in contact with him has turned me upside down.

Comments for
He's Back...

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Aug 14, 2010
No he is not. Don't fool yourself
by: Anonymous

What you want is to prove yourself that you are a true loser. I'm sorry!! What makes it sure for you to get him back or more importantly him leaving his wife and CHOOSING you? I met and was once physical with a MM but choose to step back. I care for him to much and I'm sure that he will prefer his wife above me. That is for him to decide yet I'm helping him (very smoothly to stay away for as long as I CAN) to this path.
Whatever happened back then, believe me are memorable for both of you. I would say keep it like that way; which is for the best. Don't do something that might cause more PAIN - HURT etc etc not to mention the HATE he might have toward you if something unchangeble/regretful happens.
Let it be!!!

Jan 14, 2010
from the other side
by: Anonymous

I clicked on this site to hopefully help myself with what I have recently endured. I was cheated on and I chose to forgive. Hearing your story really bothered me. You have no idea how she felt and I am sure she has dealt with A LOT more pain then you seem to have. He chose her and that should mean something to you and you should leave his family to live there lives not create drama AGAIN. There are soooo many men in this world you should find your own. And what SHE told you was probably out of anger and pain. I mean she is the victin NOT you.

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