I dont know what to do

by Helen
(New York, NY)

Hi everyone, I have been with a married man for 2 years and 2 months so far. I met him through school and he was not my classmate. He is only 4 yes older than me and at the time we had a strict professional/acquaintance and I knew he was married and had recently had a 4 month baby. The reality is that I was married as well but going through a very hard patch that only kept getting worst and eventually ended up in separation. When we began the affair I was still together with my former relationship. I have been separated for X months and he is still with her. I have strong feelings for him and he so says the same thing too but hey I'm not verifying it.

I can say that he has demonstrated certain interest and feelings to me. For example, he didn't have a car when we began, he brought one to make it easier for us to meet up. He also going to see at school for atleast 15 or 30 mins between my classes which was way out of his way home. Obviously he was arriving at a later time home( instead of getting home at 5:30, he was getting home at 7-8:00pm). The thing is that it hurst to be in this situation know that I'm doing wrong but having this feeling for him so strong that I couldn't imagine my life without him.

He recently has a daughter under medical care bc of a surgery she needed for hypertension. I know he probably feels guilty and is giving her daddy time. I know his daughters are his life to him but although I have in numerous occasion told him we should stop and that he should just stay with his family although we love each other, he is reluncted to do so and doesn't want to stop seeing me.

I thought we could maintain as friends but I guess that would just be a constant temptation. I don't know what to do. He has told me he loves me but I just don't know...can someone help me please!!

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I dont know what to do

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Dec 18, 2010
Two doors to a MM relationship
by: Anonymous

You will get mixed responses on this. But i would like to say to you:
He has to take care of his children regardless of where either of the relationships go. Always keep in mind that the mother of his children " could" be a thorn either way too. I mean a thorn to you referring in the sense that if he left her, and whenever something happens good or not so good w/ the children he has to see " mom ". You need to soul search. He needs to do the same. No matter what it's not fair to anyone involved. He has to be worried about getting caught with you, and you have to worry about how much your heart is breaking every time he goes home. The choice is yours to how tolerant you are, and how well can you except the here and now as they are and the possibility that it will be this way for a very long time to come. Good Luck to you dear.

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