I finally did it
I’ve never posted on a board before. This is so hard for me and I take full responsibility for my actions.
I am the other woman. I am a cheater. Just seeing those words breaks my heart. I have just ended a relationship with a man I’ve been involved with for 5 months. We’ve both been married for years and have kids with our spouses.
We met at work. He started to flirt with me, and that is what caught my attention. I enjoyed the attention and allowed myself to get caught up in it. He enjoyed the thrill of the chase, and I enjoyed being chased. My marriage was happy, but I was selfish to allow myself to give in to him. For weeks I tried to fight him off, but I was addicted to the attention. I loved how he made me feel alive and brought excitement to my life. It was like I was on a “high.” My mistake was spending time alone with him. I was attracted to him and the attention he showered upon me. We spent a lot of time talking and texting, which were big mistakes. Eventually, I gave in and it turned into a sexual affair. That is what brought me down the path of self-destruction on this emotional rollercoaster.
I hated what I was doing to my husband, family, and myself. For weeks I told myself that I knew I needed to end it, but just couldn’t do it. One day I’d tell myself that I was going to end it, but then he’d talk to me and I’d be addicted to that “high” again. This went on for weeks. Finally, he worked a special assignment and we didn’t see each other for a month. Being away from him was hard for me to deal with at first. I missed him terribly. We still texted each other during that month, but not seeing him also allowed me to come to reality. For weeks I had been wrestling with being “the other woman.” He didn’t mind being “the other man,” since he was getting what he wanted out of the deal. He was already unfulfilled sexually in his marriage, and I was being used to meet those unmet needs. I felt like an unpaid hooker. There was so much guilt and hypocrisy inside me that was building up. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Although I had told myself in the past several weeks that I was going to end it and failed, I knew what had to be done when I started to cry at work.
The day we broke up, we had made plans meet in a hotel room later that night. I had a bad feeling that if we ended up meeting each other there, something awful was going to happen. Fear consumed me. I just couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. He was upset, but he knew it was coming. A few days prior, I had told him that I didn’t like being “the other woman.”
I had come across this site a several weeks ago which helped me come to my decision. I especially liked the statement, “Never make someone a priority who makes you an option.” That really opened my eyes. Although this is just the first day of our breakup, I know there is long road ahead of me towards healing and recovery. There was so much internal conflict within me. Right now, I am sitting here in such pain and turmoil. I know I did the right thing, but it still hurts so badly.
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