I just want out

by missy
(united states)

I met my mm over 20 years ago,we had an afffair for nearly 2 years his wife found out and moved him out of the state.April of 2008 we ran into each other again and we started the affair all over again I am now wanting out of this relationship because it is so painful I spend a lot of time with him because his job is working on the road he goes home mayb every thre months or so he spent this Thanksgiving with me and my family but the thought of him having to go home whenever he does it just kills me because I really don't feel like the other woman because we spend so much time together so whenever he is with his wife I feel like he's cheating on me.Sounds crazy but its the truth.We've had two pregnncies together the first time I had a tubal pregnancy with twins the second time we suffered a miscarriage,I know my lifestyle is the reason my children didn't make it and I have nobody to talk to because everyone is so judgemental I really don't know what to do I know he's never going to leave his wife they have 4 children 1 grandchild and they have been married 27 years I ned help I've tried to break it off with him but for some reason he won't let me go I told him that if he ever had to walk in my shoes ten maybe he would understand but he thinks everything is ok its really not.I'm 37 years old no children a good job he is 46 and his wife is also.I'm so in love with this man he tells me the same we have a very close relationship we talk about everything I want out but I need help its so hard but most people don't understand because they've. Never been in this situation.

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