I was so sure

I started dating a married man 2 years ago. Since I had been on the receiving end of that kind of pain when my ex husband cheated on and left me for another woman, I told myself I would NEVER EVER become involved with a married man.

When he first approached me I told him just that, to end his marriage first before I would ever consider it. But he was persistent and pursued me relentlessly. I finally caved. He told me over and over that his marriage was over that they were like room mates, no connection, that he was miserable and they had gone their own separate ways. With my urging he finally moved into an apartment. That only lasted for 4 months, he never told me but he moved back into his house.

When I confronted him with that, he said she was going to be gone for a couple of months, the dog needed looking after and that it was silly to pay all that rent. I bought it. Then he told me he filed divorce papers, I asked to see a copy of the papers, they looked like only a financial agreement that the two of them had made to split the marital assets. When I questioned him about that he said that he had been told if the two people agree on the financial stuff (there are no minor kids) that a judge could grant a divorce without filing papers. He told me the hearing was set . That date came and went. When I asked him he said that she was out of town and that both of them needed to sign papers.

He had failed to tell me because he thought I would be disappointed. Then he told me there was a new date set in May and the night before that I got a panicked phone call saying she had found out about me. I really don't believe the story he told me, was full of holes, I think it was just another excuse to put off the divorce. He has told me again and again that he has no doubts about the divorce, he would be doing it if I was in the picture or not. But for some reason he can't pull the pin.

He constantly talks about our life together when we are married, I just don't understand....... I was so sure and now I don't know.

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I was so sure

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Jun 04, 2010
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from someone who is now free
by: still paying the price

1st have to agree with the advice given,,,,these men are ALL THE SAME...i to was in the same situation....mine allways spoke of when we are married..they are full of shit...as the old saying goes,,THEY WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR,,,why dont we see this,,,we all hope are situations are going to be differant..not a chance....mine,well i take my hat off to him...he was bloody good..and ime not easily fooled,,and ime a strong woman..but i was in,hook line and sinker....trust in what you read,,only 1% end up happy (ish)they say if they are going to leave,they will do this in the 1st 3 mths.....god took me 3 yrs to know he was a lyeing git..i even feel sorry for his poor wife,,why she takes the crap.being a good mother and wife,he will be looking for his nxt affair..i didnt even want to admit that i was haveing an affair,,ha ha.who was i kidding,,,ladies i will say it till ime blue in the face,,,THEY WILL NOT LEAVE..EVER....THEY HAV YOU BOTH......KICK THESE ARSEHOLES TO THE CURB....STOP MAKEING IT EASY FOR THEM..my heart hurts for every poor soul,that just wants to be loved and treated right,,,,ladies,these men will not do that..as i have said b4,the only good thing to come out of my 3 wasted yrs,is i will never,ever get involved with a mm again...it scares me that all storys are the same,,,the flowers.the i love you,cant live with out you,,i think about you 24/7.all i can say is BULLSHIT...SORRY TO SOUND DIRECT,,JUST CANT BELIEVE HOW MANY OF US FALL FOR IT...GOOD LUCK TO YOU...GO WITH YOUT INSTINCTS,,,REMEMBER THEY ARE BOTHERING YOU FOR A REASON..AND THAT IS TAKE YOUR LIFE BK..AS THE LADY RIGHTFULLY SAID...yeah it hurts,,,but nothing to wot you go through as the other woman daily.xxxxxx

May 27, 2010
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Just the same
by: sallyann

Your story is so so scarily smiliar to mine.
He too was waiting for separation papers, then divorce papers, and every time, right on the dot, he would ring the day before and she had found out he was seeing me, or she wasn't well, or this had happened etc.

I bought it every time.

I ended it with him last Sunday and since then we have been in sporadic touch, but I've made it clear that there will be nothing between us again. He only wanted me as a shoulder to cry on anyway, a friend to lean on. He had no intention of committing.

We gave our men chance after chance. We were understanding (although dying inside of frustration), supportive and encouraging. I personally come out of this with nothing, literally nothing. I paid for all our hotel rooms, I gave him money to help him out, I bought him expensive presents. I got a total of 3 cards and 2 bouquets of flowers. And that was it. Not even a meal bought.

Who exactly is the fool here? Be tough, honey, pretend you've met someone else if you have to (I'm going to, it's the only way he'll get the message). It's addictive, I know, and you wonder what on earth you will think about, what on earth you will do.

But believe me, the pain is better than the constant stress, anxiety and worry.

Good luck xxxx

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Will the Cheating husband EVER leave his wife?

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