I was the one cheating
by The Cheater
It has been the worst 11 yrs of my life. I was in a long term relationship and became pregant. We did not marry but lived together and worked together. After two years I met a man who was awesome and started an affair. I never told him I was living with a man and after ten months of sneeking around he confronted my boyfriend.
I promised him I would leave and be with him. Of course he too was cheating on me. We would leave eachother and then get back together on my broken promises of leaving and starting a life together. It has been 11 yrs and finally I think it has all come to an end. I am still living with the father of my child and I love him but the regret is killing me. I wish it all could have been different. My childs father is a good man and he did not deserve my lies and deceit. The other man was just as bad as me. He would become violent and tell me horrible things...your fat, ugly, whore, work out if you want me to keep screwing you. He blamed me for his cheating because I was still with my childs father. When I decided to leave and be with him he would admit he was seeing someone else. We would get back togther and I promise to be with him.Yet I could not let go.
When I tried to leave he would blackmail me or threaten to ruin me in the community. He always needed money and I paid for everything we did because he could not keep a budget. He filed bankruptcy and six years later had his car repoed. I even paid for a semester of his sons college because he was broke. Why can I not get away from him? I am successful and give back to the community and I am caught in a horrible double life.
Someone please help me to find a way out. We have not spoken in three days but I am just waiting for him to call with more threats and extortion. I really want to work on the real relationship I am in with the father of my child. I think I have always been in love with the father of my child and I was hurt becasue we never married me when I became pregnant. We did marry five years later and I still continued the affair with the other man. I do not know if it was because I loved him or if I could not get away from him. After reading the woman talk about being with lover and marrying him just to lose it all I know now I did the right thing. 11 yrs is a long time to have an affair and I really want everyone to know it is not worth the pain. I just do not know why I did all this. How can I be such a bad person.
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