I'm at a loss.

I’ve been dating a MM for about 3 months now. At first it started out as a one night stand. We work together and everyone from work went out to a bar. Needless to say the night ended with us having sex in the back of his car. To be completely honest both of us were drunk and I do not remember having sex with him in every detail.

He has been up front with me saying that he and his W thought about divorce before, but his family talked him out of it. She has even said that she wanted a divorce via text which I saw. So I know that he did not lie about that. Our relationship is more than just sexual; we do things together ie. Go to the gym, running, basically anything involved with being active and getting in shape.

He has helped me in many ways (w/out him being aware of it). I used to drink a lot, but I do not feel the need to drink with him. I also smoke (trying to quit), when I am with him I do not feel the need nor do I want to smoke. I know that what we are doing is wrong and immoral, but I cannot stay away from him.

I have broken it off numerous times, but always seem to be back in his arms. He doesn’t feed me a line of crap to get me back, we just seem to come together like a magnet to metal. I am truly falling for him, yet I know that this relationship will most likely end badly. I would like someone else’s opinion on this matter.

Do I stay with him or do I break it off for good. And if I decide to do that, HOW do I and actually stick to my guns? Cause it almost seems impossible.

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I'm at a loss.

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Jun 29, 2010
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miserable
by: Anonymous

i'm currently sharing the same dilemma. i'm with a MM for four months now and i've tried sicne the beginning to break it up but like you, i always end up being with him. the thing is, i am also married. if i try to break up with him, he'll accuse me of having another affair with another man. the last time i attempted to break free, i told him that i dont want to be miserable anymore waiting for him and i have feelings for him that he can't probably reciprocate. it took him 2 weeks to realize that i'm really serious and he replied saying my reasons are fair enough and that he wishes me all the best. i was relieved to hear that he's actually fine with it so i thought it was safe at that moment to say call and talk. well, it led me back to the same spot. miserable and confused. im going to the shrink tomorrow. i need help.

Jun 29, 2010
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They are no good..
by: Anonymous

i WILL TELL YOU NOW....if you dont want to go to hell and back,get out now while you are only a few moths in..sweetheart you are on this site because you are looking for answers,,you know the answer and the out come..i cant say it clear enough..these men have the best of both worlds..i got rid 4 mths ago.after 3 years of heartbreak and tears.oh the i love you,cant live without you..well he is doing a good job..the lenghts mine went to keep me and the lies were unreal..even took me to view a house,put a deposit down,letting me believe he was going to do it..all he was doing was buying moere time...all this shit about soul mates and staying in touch is B.S...trust me on this...i allso did a lot of reading and like the other lady it took me a further year to get uot..well, where are our men..did they come running,,did they leave there wifes because they couldnt live with out us,,NOOOOOOOO..BECAUSE ALL THESE STORYS END THE SAME WAY..being as you asked for advice..mine is...NO CONTACT WOTS SO EVER...if you want out..get rid...do you really want the advice to keep seeing him and cheat on the nxt person allso..that makes us as bad..i thought mine was my COMPLETE SOULMATE..well he is still with his wife..i dont look bk..he hurt and lied to me moere than i could ever tell you in words..if you choose to ignore the storys on here..i know you will be bk with double,or tripple the pain..my story on here is called ime free....take a read..in fact read them all..get out while you still have some strenghth..good luck to you..xxxxxx

Jun 29, 2010
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Been there too
by: sallyann

It's always interesting, and a real comfort, to read other people's stories about MM.
My MM lives in the north, I live in the south, and we text and talk every day. When we first met 20 months ago, both he and his W wanted a divorce, but as time went on they decided they would stay together for the children's sake.
The past 20 months has caused me more stress and heartbreak than I ever imagined, but MM was never able to let me go through all our endings, and nor was I.
I have finally, 20 months later, accepted that he will in all probability never leave his W. It's taken me many phases of anger, tears, frustration and fury to get to the place I am now.
He's staying put, but we both choose to keep in touch, and I meanwhile, feel I can do exactly what I like. If I want to date someone else, I will. He need never know, and if he finds out - well, he's made his choice.
We will meet up now and then but retain a very special bond as friends, and that to me is the place we both needed to get to.
I have a date with a man next week, and then a week later I'm seeing MM. Perfect.
So my advice is, if you can't let go, don't, but don't put your life on hold for him. Go out with other men as well, and you will start to feel you have regained a little control, and that the MM is not dominating your life.
Good luck, let me know how it goes.

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