I'm tired of this, too weak to get out!!!
I have been in a relationship with a married man for 10 years, out of these 10 years, he moved out 5 years ago saying he had enough, he was done and was getting divorced, however he still visit his kids everyday to help with homework, always with the kids every single weekend, saying his wife is doing errands, she will be back shorlty, I sit and wait all day long and he doesn't show, nothing on his life has changed except the fact he does not live there, he still walks in that house with a key, "saying I paid the mortgage" even though he was the one that left, I am a single Mom, has not dated anyone during 5 years because he keeps telling me the divorce papers are coming, however has not seen one single draft.
I have spend every holiday alone, weekends, if I get a few hours a week is a lot, lost most of my friends because I rather sit and wait for him, always making myself available, he has not spend an overnight at my place in 3 years, because for a brief period of time he lived with me, but I kicked him out after spending all the holidays that year alone, I should have stop right there all together, but he always find a way to sneak himself back in.
I have posted a few profiles on dating website, he found them and make me feel guilty for cheating on him after everything we have been through, regardless he still married, no one in his family knows I exist, but everyone close to me knows about him, I have broke up so many times I lost count. I have read articles, purchased over 20 books, gone to therapy, Im depressed, lonely, don't know what else to do.
Would love to have a normal life, but don't have the strenght of staying away from this man for no over 2 weeks at a time, tried to ignore his texts, phone calls for a while, but keep falling off the wagon.
I keep hearing how beautiful and nice person I am, I deserve a full time relationship, I have invested so much in this, don't know what to do...
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