Is it cheating if you cheat on your married man?

by Hurting
(NC)

I am 31yo. My MM and I met 4 years ago at work. I was married and so was he. I have 2 children and he has 3. We fell hard for one another and the first time I saw him it was like the movies. I knew I wanted him and I wanted him at all costs. We talked on the phone at work the first couple of years but he was moved to a different section and we didn't get to see or talk to each other as often. In June of 2010 I found myself realizing that I missed him terribly.

I missed our conversations at work and I felt like he was meant to have a place in my life so I gave him my number and told him I was interested in seeing him outside of work. Of course he obliged and as the relationship went on we got closer and fell in love. We decided to leave our spouses and start a life together.

I left my husband in Aug 2010 and got an apartment. The MM gave me the money to move out as I couldn't afford to do it on my own. He moved out in Sept of 2010 and we lived together until Nov 2010. I was scared. He became withdrawn and I could sense he really didn't want to be there. He missed his kids terribly and told me so. I never initiated a conversation about how he was acting and so I chose to ask my husband to take me back.

I did that because I felt like me and MM were not going in the direction we were supposed to and because I was just freakin' confused. I didn't love my husband in that way anymore I just didn't feel like my relationship with the MM was going anywhere because of his guilt for leaving his kids. The MM moved back home with his wife in Nov 2010 and has been there ever since.

This past Oct I got tired of waiting for him to leave and decided to go "cheat" on him thinking that would make me see that I can forget MM and move on. Well, it only made me realize how much I actually do love him. I've always loved him. Seeing each other on our days off and talking and emailing as much as we can. When he found out about me cheating he went ballistic. He said he couldn't understand how I could do that to him and he thought I loved him and that we were supposed to be different and special and that I was selfish for what I did.I know I was wrong for cheating on him because when you love someone you don't cheat on them but in these MM situations nothing is normal. Maybe someday he'll leave her or I'll leave him. Just can't imagine life without him though:(

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Is it cheating if you cheat on your married man?

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Aug 09, 2012
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? NEW
by: Anonymous

so are you now back living with your husband? and cheating on your MM? Do you see how fucked up the whole situation is? You are cheating on your husband by being with MM but u feel that u r cheating on MM by being doing whatever you did.

It was great that you and MM took a step and moved in together and left your respective spouses, but he found that he could not bear it and went back. And you were 'waiting for him to decide'... do you think he will ever make another decision? He's just not certain my dear. he wants you and he wants his life, his kids. he tried it out and found that it's not what he wants, but maybe he still wants you, but seriously, can he have some ACTION? My guess is he won't. if he could, he would want the best of both worlds. a 'stable' and 'normal' life with his family (i.e his wife and kids), and another one with you, who can satisfy his love needs and make him feel like a man.

Qn is, are you going to allow yourself continue this way? Time goes on.. how long can you bear this? Love yourself my friend. Make a choice.

May 24, 2012
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Save your soul NEW
by: Sonia

Hey dear,
U need to take charge of your life. U have to be strong. U could not be doing this to yourself. I understand your condition as my husband was into other women and abused me sexually and emotionally. He forced and suggected many times to get a man for just sex. I requested and cried for three years to stop allthis. and one fine day i started having a relationship with a MM. he loved me respected me. I needed it desperately as I felt completed rejected as a human being, a lover, a wife! So i went ahead with this relation thinking it would take me away from my man and my marriage. I hoped i wud fall in love with MM and will have courage to walk out of my maariage. but as went by i realised i was deeply attached to my husband. so i felt miserable after doing this. as if evrything went in vain... neways now he has found out and we will soon file for divorce.i know there was nothing left in the marriage. but somehow i still wanted to be with him. neways i just want to tell u that when we take such steps only we r hurt and not anyone else. so u shud take charge of ur life and not let these things pull you. Steer clear out of these things, Save your soul!

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