Leaving is devastating but staying is heartache

As long as I can remember, I hated cheaters; in fact it made me ill when I heard of a man cheating on his innocent wife. Once a cheater, always a cheater was my mantra. So never in a million years would I have guessed that "I" would be the other woman. My marriage was ok. I married my high school sweetheart. With the years, we both became complacent and I was being taken advantage of.

One, because I at first wanted to handle everything in the relationship (very type A personality) and two, I let it overwhelm me and never said anything, therefore, the resentment and hate towards my husband built and built until one day I became completely disconnected to him. The affair started off innocent.

Brief interactions, teasing, sarcasm, joking, etc. I really felt connected to this person and not in an inappropriate way, just connected in some weird sense. Our brief conversations led to more in-depth conversations which led to lunch. We had many lunch dates where we discussed our feelings, beliefs, relationships, etc. Never did he bad mouth his wife, he treded very lightly not to and I too didn't bad mouth my husband, after all, he is a great man, and father.

Our contact became frequent, exchanging emails and phone calls. We could talk about everything and anything, our attraction (not just physical) was strong. Two months into the relationship, he kissed me. It was amazing, yet at that moment, that is when it sank in that I'm cheating. Not as if I didn't realize it before, but the kiss made it crystal clear. That said, I felt guilty, yet not terribly guilty for my actions. He made me happier than I have been for years.

He was filling this awful void that my spouse wasn't filling. From that day forward, we contacted each other daily, and our kissing sessions were frequent. A month later, he spoke to his wife and confessed he had been having an emotional affair and that he did not feel connected to her, etc, etc. From there, she found an email that he had sent me where he poured out his heart. She about died, and rightfully so. Not only did he partially confess, she found this loving email sent to me. She knew who I was, there was an actual name associated with the affair.

Needless to say, my husband found out and surprisingly, he forgave me. The affair didn't continue for a month or so, but then it started up again, stronger than before. He poured out his heart (saying I love you). His emails were eloquent, and melted my heart. Everything he said, I concurred with. Our contact increased, seeing each other daily, email exchanges, lunch dates, etc. Our affair was the gold standard of all "emotional" affairs. I fell in love with him, head over heels and I believe he loved me; however, he wasn't leaving his family for me. Deep down, I knew he wouldn't leave, so on two occasions I broke it off. The emotional toll it was taking on me was unbearable.

However, on both occasions I was weak and gave in when he contacted me. It was a vicious cycle that was toxic. Ten months later, after a series of events, I told him that I'm sick of the lies, sick of being the "other woman", the secret. I was committed to make a move, because I truly loved him but he "couldn't leave his kids", which meant, he wasn't going to leave his family, EVER. Which really meant, he never had any intentions to be with me. It was a "having your cake and eating it to" scenario. It was terrible. I was pursued for months by him. He reached out to me; I didn't know he existed before then. He emailed me, called me, took me out to lunch, kissed me, initiated everything and I thought he really loved me.

But was just a place holder - he could sew his wild oats and go back home. I was used (though I don't believe it was his intension). My heart was broken, shattered into pieces. I can't believe I ended up a statistic, one that I despised. I knew better, I was raised better, yet it happened. I opened my heart and it was crushed. Rightfully so! You reap what you sew, right.

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Leaving is devastating but staying is heartache

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Jun 19, 2013
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Spell Caster That Brought Joy Back To My Life NEW
by: Dr. Osusu

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Jun 04, 2013
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how i got back my husband NEW
by: Anonymous


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May 18, 2013
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how to get your husband back NEW
by: Anonymous

my name is mccart i never believe in spell casting, until when i was was tempted to try it. i and my husband have been having a lot of problem living together, he will always not make me happy because he have fallen in love with another lady outside our relationship, i tried my best to make sure that my husband leave this woman but the more i talk to him the more he makes me fell sad, so my marriage is now leading to divorce because he no longer gives me attention. so with all this pain and agony, i decided to contact this spell caster to see if things can work out between me and my husband again. this spell caster who was a woman told me that my husband is really under a great spell that he have been charm by some magic, so she told me that she was going to make all things normal back. she did the spell on my husband and after 5 days my husband changed completely he even apologize with the way he treated me that he was not him self, i really thank this woman her name is Dr Aluta she have bring back my husband back to me i want you all to contact her who are having any problem related to marriage issue and relationship problem she will solve it for you. her email is traditionalspellhospital@gmail.com, she is a woman and she is great. wish you good time.

Apr 10, 2013
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Selfish NEW
by: Anonymous

It's more than obvious that you no longer love your husband. He was basically an after-thought in your entire letter. Your sole focus was on your OM. Please don't string your husband along. He deserves a wife that will respects her marital vows. If you have children and you still have some love him then seek counseling together. Otherwise set him free. Nowhere did it once mention how you and your husband are working to make the marriage better or what you are doing to heel his broken heart. It's all about YOU. Not trying to be mean but I have been in your husbands shoes and it truly is devastating.

Apr 09, 2013
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Serves you right NEW
by: Anonymous

It serves you right to have your heart broken

I agree your husband might have been bad but you had no right to mess with another woman's man! I know for sure that the other woman must have been devastated...

I hope Karma bites you in the ass... You get ten times as hurt as his wife :D


Apr 08, 2013
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thanks NEW
by: cheney

My name is cheney from uk. I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in February this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR.EGOGO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is egogotemple@yahoo.com

Mar 29, 2012
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Been there NEW
by: MeMe

I divorced my first husband because he cheated. It disgusted me too. I have been in an emotional affair. Finally had the last straw just in the past few days. When any contact on my part causes him to throw a fit, I am done. It hurts. He said all the right things. Never a physical touch was made. Just visual and verbal. Those words made me feel so wanted, needed and desired. My husband does most everything right except for the words. I have finally come to grips with that fact that I am where I need to be which is with my husband. This other one can find another victim. I am done.

Feb 14, 2012
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Please help me NEW
by: Sonia

Hi,
I came across your post today. My heart goes out to you. I understand where you are coming from. Im so sorry the way it happened to you. But you must look at it in a positive way. I think that u have saved urself from years of lingering pain and trauma. As you decided to take bold move the truth came out. You are brave and honest person. This shows u are very strong.
Like you, I too thought that OW are worse people in the world. The way I was raised and the beliefs I had all fell apart a few years of my marriage. My hubby turned out to be porn addict and abused me in the bed. Cutting the long story short I was insecure and disrepected. Hubby made me feel incomplete as a woman. And after my darling Granny passed away I just could nt hold it together any more. I stepped out and became the OW. Now my hubby found out from his MM's wife and he has left in my home-country and gone to US. I want to be with him and I do not know when will he forgive me. Could you please tell me how did your hubby forgive you? Can you please give some advice? I really want to be with him. I will pray for you so that you get love in ur life :)


Nov 23, 2011
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?
by: Joanne

What if they are not having sex with you? I cant agree with that, My MM even with the invites and request for time for us to be intimate he does not take advantage of he tells me that I mean more than that to him. I see so many similarities in your story to mine and it hurts and scares me all in the same breath. I told him the other day that I do not want to be a statistic and he swears I wont be.. but he has used his kids and the other day he told me that he was waiting for her to give him what he wants to agree on the kids and his time with them, basically for her to say she wants out. Am I being stupid?

May 09, 2011
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REAP WHAT YOU SAW
by: Anonymous

Its really sad that we as women we cause each other pain by allowing men to play with us.Men are just dogs, they leave their own meal at home and go eat or steal by your neigbour

Oct 07, 2010
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Leaving is devastating but staying is heartache
by: Anonymous

I feel for everything you are going through and I am in the exact situation as you are and am in love with someone who is a great guy and he has been my best friend for 10 years and lover for three of the 10 years and our spouses found out about 2.5 years ago and we tried to make them both believe that we had ended things but we haven't and have told so many lies so that he won't lose his kids. I have tried to divorce and move things along but he freaks out every time that happens. I have also tried to end things with him but I just can't. I love him more than anyone and have never felt that way for anyone in my whole life and we both feel that way. He always has an excuse as to why he can't leave and it usually involves money or his kids. I do feel like he won't ever leave and I will have wasted most of my life waiting on him. We work together and sit right by each other. It is so hard to find the answer so that we can be together. Our work also will not allow for us to be married...and still work in our current jobs. Life really sucks!

Oct 07, 2010
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I Disagree
by: Anonymous

Not all wives are innocent. There you are wrong.

Sep 23, 2010
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a losing game
by: Anonymous

You're right. You reap what you sow. I feel sorry for you, but more sorry for the wife. You had a choice, and you chose to be a mistress. The wife had no choice, you and her husband victimized her. How many more people, including ourselves, must we destroy and hurt before we come to our senses that playing the life of a mistress is one big losing game? Will be forever be content with being the loser, never the winner, because no matter what our MMs tell us, almost all of them will never leave their wives and their families. As the OW, we are just a sex toy no matter what sweet things they do and say to us. All that sweetness is their payment to us for the sex that we give them.

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Will the Cheating husband EVER leave his wife?

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