lost

by lisa
(iowa)

i have been married for 10yrs and this is the third time my husband has cheated. The first time it happened i didnt no anything about it but he told me about it when i caught him the second time, the first time, for me. It was hard to forgive and he promised it would never happen again. But i caught him again. And he has been having a relationship with this women for three years. I travel alot, every couple of weeks for work, so he has her come stay at our house. I love him and he agreed to go to coonsoling but is it going to help?

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lost

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Jan 31, 2012
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Get out--or better yet kick HIM out NEW
by: Christina

He's cheated 3X in 10 years? Bad enough...but in YOUR house? I would call a divorce lawyer and locksmith immediately...maybe not in that order. You travel with your job and we can just imagine how his must add to your stress.

Life is too short. It hurts to end any relationship, but isn't "tollerating" this even worse?

I've been on both sides...as the "other woman" I don't want to hurt you, but he does this because he thinks he can "get away with it"--and he has, so far.

Sorry to hear your pain. The truth hurts but is the only thing to set you free...

Respect and love YOURSELF. Only then can you be in a healthy realtionship.

Peace and love

Jan 15, 2012
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please don'r waste another day, week, or month with this scumbug NEW
by: Anonymous

Leave him. And the best revenge would be to do so; once the whore has him, things will change with their dynamic because she will no longer be the side pork hence: job opening! Pay attention to his actions rather than his words because as Joanne said, he will not stop. My husband cheated on me and like Joanne, I considered cheating but in the end, I could do that to someone. I could not inflict the same emotional pain on someone else that had been done to me. Yes, yes I know; the married person is the one who is cheating and if you don't do it with him, someone else will, right? That's mistress logic but all I knew was that regardless of what that married man might do, all I could control was HOW I CONDUCTED MYSELF and I am better than that. You are too, and you deserve better. Stop wasting your time with someone who doesn't realize that and obviously never will.

Dec 15, 2011
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lost NEW
by: Joanne

No one can tell you whether or not counseling is going to help your situation or if he will actually change, from my own experience as being a woman who was cheated on for several years, no he will not stop. Your willingness after the first time to forgive and move on put him in a safe place, and now that you have found out a second time he offers counseling he is trying to keep him self safe. If he has had this woman in your home in your bed, he is not going to let her go. And you said you travel alot? he will continue to use that opportunity as his chance to have his relationship with her. And always keep in mind this is only my opinion. He has already built a foundation with this woman, much very similiar to your marriage just in this relationship he is not getting the back lash that he would get from you. When people have affairs its because they are missing something in their own marriage/relationship and they found that in someone else and that is where they are happy, not to say he cant be happy with you like he is with her, but the thing is when he is with her its like a first date every single time. She doesnt expect anything from him but to be there for her emotionally and love her during the time they are together. I am the other woman now, so I will tell you this, do not hate her as much as you want to. I hated the women and blamed them that cheated with my husband,but now being the other woman I realize what these women went through, they truly loved my husband , he was the one that hurt us both, although these women knew about me, loyalty was to come from my husband not these women. and affair does not happen unless both parties agree to it. She is acting as you are because of what he has given her shown her and talked to her about. I am so sorry, from my self as the other woman, I am so so sorry this is happening to you, you have to follow your own heart, you know your husband.. go with your gut and your instinct of him. I wish I had with my husband before I gave him 20yrs of my life to just toss away. Love you for the wonderful woman you are and no one will appreciate you until you appreciate yourself. And again I am so so sorry.

Dec 14, 2011
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Counselling shud help NEW
by: Anonymous

You shud go for counselling. It will heal you and your partner and guide u to the rt path for your best!
Good luck

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