We were both married and I was ready to leave my husband for him. This man was a Marine and I was Navy. He would jog to my BOQ room almost everyday where we would alternate between hot sex and awesome lovemaking FOR TWO YEARS. We saw each other daily at meetings and had frequent contact at base gatherings, other than my BOQ room (and his bedroom when his wife was away). This lasted for two years and it was both the best (sexually) and worst (lost my self-worth) time of my life. He wrote me the most awesome love letters. I could feel the "love" when we were together. Yet, there was another side to him. His wife held a position of authority in the civilian sector so he gladly paraded around base with her--I would see them holding hands and acting as if everything was "normal" between them. I found out later he told her I was a "stalker" with issues to cover himself. He painted such a horrible picture of me with her and whomever would listen just so he could continue having the best of both worlds. Meanwhile, it destroyed me and would prevent me from being happy for quite awhile after it ended. It took years for me to regain any feeling I had with my husband. And, the difference between myself and my Marine lover was, I was separated from my family for three years while he was with his wife day and night the entire two years we were together. He went home to her every night without any guilt. I drove home on the weekends feeling sick and disgusted with myself but I was so addicted to the sex, I couldn't let go. I hit rock bottom when he got deployed. I knew that it was time to break it off. (I am leaving a lot of the drama out.) His wife told people I was a stalker and spoke badly of me so I felt compelled to show her proof. I sent her the love letters he wrote me but it didn't matter. It didn't make me feel better and she didn't leave him (I later learned she caught him with another woman a few years prior to me). I allowed him to destroy my self-esteem and make me feel like less of a person. I focused all of my energy on him while the man who really loved me remained at home, taking care of our child, from afar. Men are liars. They don't leave their wives and the "other woman" is merely their fantasy girl and nothing more. Move on. Don't look back. Kharma will take care of the man who stole your heart and soul. He will cheat on her again and if he were with you, he would cheat on you, too. I wish I had thought more of myself at the time but when you are in it, it is hard to see the sad reality of it all. When he finishes his orgasm, he walks away and never looks back. We are left feeling used and cheap and conflicted. The high from the sex goes away and the pathetic feeling of loneliness takes over.
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