Moving On

by Ms. Heartbreaker

I met my engaged man 7 months ago while out at a nightclub. From our first phone call, he told me that he was engaged with children. Said he never married her because he wasn't sure if he could live 'like this' til death. He told me him and his fiance were not happy, that they were basically roommates and he wanted to leave her but feared that it would negatively affect his kids if he did. I told myself we would only be friends because I didn't want to get involved in a messy situation.

Fast forward two months, we had continued talking every once in a while on the phone and on facebook. One night, while out with my friends at the same nightclub, I ran into him there. Let's just say, after a few too many drinks, we ended up kissing on the dancefloor and eventually ended up having our first sexual encounter that night. It was amazing. He paid for my cab ride home and called me very often during the week. I told myself I would not get attached, that I was young and single and just wanted to have fun. I continued seeing him, we would meet up on the weekend, go out to a club and end up rolling in the sheets.

At first it was cool, but then feelings got involved. I started falling for him and he started falling for me. We started to spend much more time together on the weekend. He would invite me to his football games, his basketball tournaments, his friends barbeques. I met his brothers, father, cousins, uncles. We had fun together, could talk about anything, we fell in love. My friends loved him, I loved him. But, in the back of my mind I always dreaded Sunday night when he went home.

Several times, he has told me that he wants to leave, that he has seriously considered leaving her, but still stays with her. He says he LOVES me but doesn't want to hurt his kids. By the way, I have met his boys, but I had to give them a fake name.

I know I am worth more that this. I know I deserve to be with someone that can devote all their time to me. I have finally informed him that it is indeed over. I sent him an email breaking up with him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do because I fell in love with this man. He was able to touch me in a way no other man has and it sucks to let that go. But, I feel if he truly loved me, he wouldn't let me go, he would leave this woman he is 'so unhappy with' and be with me. But that is not the case and I am moving on.

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