Not Every Affair Is Bad

by D Wagner
(Osmewhere in Oregon)

I have been married to a man who had brin surgery 8 months after we married. He became vegetative but eventually he is very debilitated but stabe. I have stayed faithful to him for 34 years. Then one day I met my sweet guy. He was looking, and I was wanting something too. We met and have had a passionate affair for the last 9 months. His wife had a double mastectomy, cancer returned in the spine. Needless to say he has issues at home as well. We need each other, we both choose to stay with our spouses and not abandon them at the worse time of their lives, but we need to take care of US to, and this is how we do it. He has only EVER been with his wife, and I with my hubby, so we have a great relationship. If the spouses die, we will stay like we are, we are not anxious for that day. We just help each other find a happier place a couple times per week. We dont have sex with our spouses so...

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Not Every Affair Is Bad

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Dec 19, 2011
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The right to have affairs because of disabilities NEW
by: Anonymous

I don,t know but if your a believer in jesus christ adultry is adultry. in sickness and in health. this one you will have to face your maker on . like i said before if it is meant to be when god forbid your spouses pass. you 2 will still be standing. and have peace in it instead of guilt.

Sep 21, 2011
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Bad situation
by: Anonymous

I have posted a comment on here as the other woman involved with a man who cares for his disabled wife. there is little written about it.
However I can honestly say that my feelings of hurt, rejection and being a lowly second in his life is just as real for me as with other men with able-bodied wives. You are having an affair with a person in similar circumstances but what if you weren't? It is asking too much of someone to allow them to forego their happiness to keep you happy. And forever too. I can understand the need for an affair in your circumstances, but the other person is being drawn into a terrible situation too and my advice would be don't do it.

May 25, 2011
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hmmm
by: Anonymous

That sounds sad. I think its understandable though. I wouldn't but i use to think that things were black and white...right or wrong...through the little experience i have now, i see that there are grey areas...it sounds like its just business...

Dec 30, 2010
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You also deserve a life
by: Anonymous

Wow, you are in a situation none of us would envy re your spouses. It is such a difficult thing to be a carer and you deserve an outlet also. I congratulate you for standing by your spouse but I also think you need and deserve some love back.
Good luck to you both!!

Sep 23, 2010
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it's all about sex?
by: Anonymous

I wonder if not having sex with our spouses gives us the license to be unfaithful? Whatever happened to the marriage vows... maybe we should put there something about allowing spouses to sleep around if they feel the urge for sex.

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