NOT SURE WHAT TO DO?

by bubba
(guam)

i am a 37 y/o married man with 3 kids. without going into all the long details, i was married young at 21 and married my wife because she got pregnant.i've always loved my wife and i've always been faithful up until this point.i've been a good husband and father.

we've been married for 18 years now. the last few years i've felt that we've been growing apart. the last year i've felt like she's more like a roomate than a wife. i've felt neglected and unappreciated. i've supported her with her career and have always put her and the kids first. the last fight we had she was just so ready to give up on us. because of this i decided to "not care" anymore and let the "card fall where thay may".

i was feeling lonely and found a website where married adults meet and have affairs. it was mostly just to have "chat" conversations. i met a women that lived acorss the state. we really had great chats. our chats progressed and we continued to get to know one another. we have so much in common. i looked forward to hearing from her. our online chats slowly went from chating to calling her at home.( by the way, she was not married but did just get out of a relationship. and she is 8 years older than me.) this women really made my heart skip a beat.

we both made plans to meet. mind you she lives 10 hours by flight from me we decided to pick a state and meet half way. we stayed on the west coast. we had an amazing time together. we spent 5 unforgetable days together. normally i would never just pick up a stranger let alone stay together for 5 days at a hotel. we just had this bond that put aside all logic. from the start we were very comfortable together....like we already knew eachother.
when we parted, it was the hardest thing to do...its was then that i realized how much i really wanted to be with this woman.
once apart the phone calls and texting started up. the "i miss u's" were pretty hard.
3 months later we met again on the west coast and spent another 5 days together...our feelings for eachother continued to grow...i've fallen in love with this woman and she has fallen in love with me. she does not want me to hurt my kids. but she's not ready to let me go either.
i just left her a week ago...parting at the airport was so hard....seeing her cry was crushing my heart.


i've been home with my wife and kids....since i've been here all i can think about is her. i actually had the intention of ending my relationship with this woman. because i have such deep feelings for her i can't bring myself to do it. i'm not happy at home and i still feel like the relationship i have with my wife is more like "roomate". i do love my kids and don't want to hurt them.


i'm not sure what to do....i feel like my head is so clouded....i have all these feelings....everyday i tell myself i have to end this..but just can't seem to let go.....
anyone ever been in this same situation?

Comments for
NOT SURE WHAT TO DO?

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Sep 20, 2012
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cheating husband NEW
by: Anonymous

U r a selfish pig. What do you think u have the right to decide its ok to play god and your unsuspecting wife goes on wondering whats wrong. Did u think you were the only one involved? You think you are so precious and so who cares about her? You are just thinking about you pants, making excuses and have no consideration for her. Im sure your wife whom you had a commitment with would have prefered hearing its not working out between us to, i am sleeping with someone else so i dont need you anymore. Because thats what it translates to.

Sep 28, 2011
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Make a decision
by: Anonymous

I think you need to go for marriage counselling, after all your wife probably feels the same.
Or end it with your wife, but for you, not another woman. You don't know her really.
You need to make a decision. Be brave.
I hope it works out.

Sep 21, 2011
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Reply
by: Anonymous

Thanks for your comment....yes you are right about getting out if I'm not happy...I'm not using the kids as an excuse but rather thinking about how this will affect them. I have never been in this situation before, this is all new to me. As for the "other women" she new from the start that I was married...we didn't plan this affair....i never thought in my life that I would be a "cheating man". Thank you for your comment as it was taken to heart.

Sep 20, 2011
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Man Up
by: Anonymous

Did i just read what a man who is cheating sometime goes through?
it did not mention in your story but I assume the OW is single?
If you really are that unhappy in your marriage - get out! Don't use the kids as an excuse. Sometimes its better to be raised from a broken home than in a broken home.
You stay in this marriage and remain unhappy, even if you end this current affair - there will be another....each time and the longer it goes on, the chance of your wife and family finding out increases - now that would be a disappointment to everyone. Man up & end your marriage if you're not happy - don't drag OW into it!

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