Pressured

I had a seemingly happy marriage. I have the best husband ( still married, separated). He is/ was very thoughtful kind loving man. Always telling me how beautiful he thought I am. We'd been married for 11 years and bought our first house. We have rt here children together , he invited his buddy to come to the house and visit. His friend seemed more interested in me then my husband but I just thought he was being friendly. I've know this man as long as I've know my husband. I shrugged off his overly friendly behavior and went on with life. The next day he calls me at our house and tells me that his wife his upset cuz she thinks we are flirting. I have to admit that in the past I had found myself attracted to this man but didn't know he was also to me. So during this phone conversation he admits being attracted and asks me how I fell about him. I the him I have been. But this conversation is inapproiate . And that I want to hang up. He begs me not to hang up and tells me he needs a friend. He very unhappy in his marriage and just wants to talk time to time. I tell him no. And we hang up. Three weeks go by and I get a phone call from him telling me he has not stopped thinking about me and wants o know if I'm thinking of him. I said I had but I still felt it wrong for him to be calling me. He apologized and explained that he just wanted to talk. I talked to him for a while. But felt very uncomfortable. About it. When the conversation was ending he asked if he could all again. I agreed. The conversations became frequent. Then daily. He then asked how I felt about meeting him. I said no. Not alone. But he said he just wanted to see me. I told him no but he came to the house anyway. I was a mess this man was in my house what does he want me for? He took me into his arms and I felt compelled to let him touch me. But overcome with guilt I pushed him a way. I am I love with my husband I do not want this. I made him leave. And he called me soon after.

We would chat online so we could be in contact when our spouses were around. But one night he wasn't careful and his wife saw our conversation . She threaten she would tell my husband unless we ended this so far only emotional affair. So we stopped chatting online... For a while. We started to chat online again and his wife once again caught us. I believe now it was his purpose to be caught. She told me she was going to tell my husband because enough was enough.

I panicked told my husband everything. And begged for forgivenesses. We got our life back on tract. I was relieved that things had ended but ... Not for long. A month later he returned to calling me and we continued to talk on the phone.

He continued to talk to me on the phone. And visits with him became more frequent. He wanted to get affectionate and I didn't want to. So why did I keep returning to this. Because I didn't want my husband to find out and I was afraid that if I stopped he would somehow. This man began to push for more and more. I thought I was falling in love with him but I believe now I was being manipulated. For a more then a year I fought having intimacy with him and he pushed and pressured. Sometime in June I finally gave in to having sex him but I was a wreck. I felt awful. I did the deed and there was no turning back now. I had this great husband who is amazing what am I doing?

I continued like this for some time longer. But in September of 2009 a family member committed suicide. I was devastated. At that point I realized that I was a horrible awful person for continuing this deceit I was involved in. I began to try to figure out a way out of it. I knew I had to leave my husband. I didn't want to. I felt it was best for all parties. This awful mans wife would beg me to stop I ignored her.
I then met a man I had no intention of getting involved with. He was a sweet man. It wasn't long before I started to have feeling for him. I was cutting my ties to my husbands friend and getting involved with another. I was a mess. But then I think I realized that if I cleaved to this third man I could end my unwanted affair. So I do did. My husbands friend found out about this affair became very angry and finally set me free.

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