So many directions...

by Brokenhearted girl
(TX)

I have been seeing a married man for over a year now. He is married and has 3 middle aged kids. I am also married and have 2 smaller children. I am so confused. This is so hard because he is a Police Sergeant and I'm a dispatcher! We work the same shift and have to constantly communicate. I really really know what I need to do because it's becoming harder and harder to be the other woman. Every time he puts me aside to have dinner with his wife, or can't talk to me after 5 when she is home I'm just left missing him until we can talk again. He says he would leave but understands my kids are young and do not understand. He also said he is not ready to break his kids hearts since this is his 3rd marriage and his kids finally have a step mom they can count on.

He said he is willing to put his happiness aside for them until he's ready. I understand what he is saying and I want to think he means well but I do not think he has been 100% truthful about how close or "not so close" he and his wife are. He sure does a lot to be so unhappy and playing the role. He calls it keeping the peace. It takes nothing anymore to upset me..just as I am reading others post I'm sad because I know I'm in such a tough position. I know she loves him and since I have been married 8 years and him 3 I feel like I'm just at a different place than him.

I truly love him and even before our affair we have been friends for over 5yrs. This is so hard. I know it's unfair and wrong but the heart wants what the heart wants. I'm certain he will never leave her and to be honest I never asked or even expected it. This started out as fun and had whirled into this monster of an affair and emotions. Please..any advice is appreciated.

Comments for
So many directions...

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Nov 01, 2011
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why
by: Erica

Ok I would never judge what a person does because I am not God... What I will say is what is the point of getting married if your goin 2 cheat on your spouse anyways... yes I understad that both of you have kids and that is the reason why the divorce haven't happened, but just thank what would that do to the kids if they were to find out.... just thank about your actions

Oct 21, 2011
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Not in same boat
by: Anonymous

I would say it is best to stay away from married man or woman altogether. Why? Because some PEOPLE will get hurt at the end of the day. It is best that you find someone who is single and make sure you are single too when you start an affair. It is best to keep things clear and straight as you can ruin your life in a second. Confess to your husband of your cheating - your kids will be more hurt than him. He is married 3 times already, do you not think it is stupid to get involved with someone who changes on continous basis or say has some form of issue? Be clever lady. You only have so many years to live. Make it proper and safe rather than painful and rough.

Sep 04, 2011
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Ouch!
by: Anonymous

Hang in there, Girl. I'm there also. I'm married, and I love my husband. And I love the married man I'm involved with. It's so selfish. But it's how it is.

I hope you figure things out soon. And I hope I do, also. Good luck.

Life is pain. Anyone who tells you anything else is selling you something.

Aug 20, 2011
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I'm in the same boat
by: Anonymous

I am in the same situation but I am the married man in this case. I started my affair 7 months ago. I have no excuse for my affair, but like you I have fallen in love and have been dealing with so many emotions. It has been painful....I keep telling myself this has to end but can't seem to let go. As I write this I have been up most of the night because I can't sleep....I keep thinking about my situation and I've got no one to talk to about it...the woman that I am involved with is not married but knows that I am, shes known from the start. She's not ready to let go either. I feel like my mind has been so clouded....it's hard to think straight.
Any, I'm sorry that i don't have an answer for you but wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat as you and know how you feel...I do know that in my situation I need to end all communication with her so that I can start thinking more clearly....best of luck to you

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