My story begins years ago and I won't bore with all the details. The root issue here is self worth. Whether you are the woman being cheated on and you stay or you are the other woman we are all in the same shoes.
My father was abusive and the first man I slept with when I was sixteen was my 21 year old manager at the retail store where I worked after school. He never lied to me about his intentions but he definitely led me into believing it was more than sex and I willingly believed. That set me up for a string of horrible relationships. I am no stranger to dating emotionally unavailable men and the one and only time I have been in an 'exclusive' and committed relationship with a man he was abusive and cheated on me.
I eventually cheated on him as well even though the relationship was not salvagable at that point we were still living together under the pretenses of trying to make things work. Wow. I am opening a can of worms here.
Ultimately my point here is that in our shoes we just take what we can get. In my affair there may not be love, because as we all know love should be honest and true. But there is passion, desire, affection, attention, and friendship which sometimes is a fair trade off for the lonely nights and jealousy of the time he spends with his family. Basically for right now it is better than having nothing at all.
My situation also seems a bit unique to all of yours because he has never led me to believe that he intends to leave his wife. I would never encourage him to because I would not pursue a 'normal' relationship with him anyway now that I see him for what he really is. He has actually given me an STD and when I confronted him about his reaction was 'my wife is going to kill me'. He did not accuse me of giving it to him, only confirming that I am not the only person he was/is having an extra-marital affair with. We are two lonely people just taking what we can get I suppose, but there is a name and face belonging to his wife and he is knowlingly and without conscience hurting her. It is wrong and I know he will continue on as long as I allow and when I end it he will probably find or continue to have someone else to have on the side.
If you are wifey on the other end you may want to consider why you are with a man like this and make some changes of your own.
Good luck to all. It is indeed the epitomy of a lose-lose situation. The bad guy here in most cases is my friend, your husband. We all deserve better.
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