The cheater should not be questioned, its the one willing to encourage it.

by cookie
(NY)

In all honesty, why would a person willingly go out with a married person? Because they don't really give a hoot about 1) commitment 2) other people's feeling; If someone falls in love with a married person, they are the fool right from the beginning The only reason to be with a married person is because you want sex, wining, dining with no strings. If you really want a committed relationship, go for a single person. Don't break up a perfectly good union. Cheaters want to play. Players want to cheat. I believe that anyone that goes out with a married person might very well be someone that does not know real love - so they accept second best...my question is ....how to deal with a scenario when the married person falls in love with the player and start talking about leaving their spouse. Any ideas...?

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The cheater should not be questioned, its the one willing to encourage it.

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Jan 31, 2012
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I feel your pain--but you are lying to yourself NEW
by: Anonymous

I don't mean to insult you in anyway, and I understand your pain--I have been cheated on by my husband and also sadly been the "OW".

Let me start by saying something you may find "controversial": the CHEATING SPOUSE is responsible for upholding their marriage vowels. Yes, I said it. No wily woman or man can "lead astray" a happy, dedicated, thoughtful, committed spouse. I'm not blaming the party that is cheated on...I am simply stating that if your spouse has certain weaknesses or inclinations...he/she made a PLEDGE OF FIDELITY TO YOU. Life has lots of temptations...many people willingly refrain from the "buffet".

It's easy and convenient to blame the OW/OM for the destruction of a marriage/relationship. I agree that women and men with a certain degree of self-knowledge will automatically refrain from such activity. But please know that for the most part...the women and men drawn into such deceptive relationships are just plain deceived...Not saying there aren't exceptions. But more often than not, after investigation, we tend to find out that the cheating spouse is "hedging" his/her bets against the middle--i.e., playing both sides. Either way, the wronged wife, wronged husband, wronged bf or girlfriend, comes to realize they are with an irresponsible narcissist if not a sociopath. They are with a person that has little if any empathy--it's all about "them". These "partners" get off on manipulating people and relationships and creating chaos. Sick people.

More importantly, and not trying to insult you, but you need to ask yourself why you are or were with such people, and tollerated it? I had to do this myself...ttok 5 years of therapy.

My conclusion: "I love myself, I love others, but I will only foster positive relationships in my life."


Jan 12, 2012
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Yeah Hire Someone NEW
by: Angela

Once a cheater always a cheater!!. That saying is around for a reason, because it's true. Once someone is inticed by someone else, well if they fall for the bait then it's their fault just as much as it is the person who gave them reason to look else where. In my opniion now a days I would hire a private investigator for more than one reason. Let professionals dig the dirt on you're cheating partner.

In the meantime, please visit other page. Related article:

Will the Cheating husband EVER leave his wife?

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