Total scum bag

by Alison
(United Kingdom)

Thank goodness I found this site and know I'm not alone.

I met SJB 4 years ago, on the internet (of course!) I was single and he told me he was, I had no reason to think otherwise. We had a passionate and emotional relationship for 4 months and I was devastated when he "disappeared" - stopped answering phone, emails etc.

Six months later I left the UK to live and work in NZ. A couple of days before I left SJB rang and cried on the phone, blah blah blah... you can imagine. I went ahead and got on the plane but agreed to keep in touch, and why not? He was a single guy after all?

Obviously I was lonely when I first arrived in NZ and chatting to him on messenger was great, I wanted to turn round and come home. But I'd also landed a fantastic job and met a nice Kiwi guy, so I stayed and tried to ignore SJB. He emailled and texted occasionally but I ignored them almost completely successfully - until 3 years later when I'd married the Kiwi guy and we were going through what people call a rough patch. I was a long way from home and felt I had no-one to talk to. I was considering come home and got in touch with SJB - was he still single? did he still love me? Yes and Yes!

He encouraged me to leave my husband, my new home and my excellent job - then I could come home and we could live happily ever after. OMG!

So that's what I did. It took me six months, it cost me a huge amount but even now I don't regret leaving my husband because he is a very manipulative and agressive bully, no loss there.

On arriving home SJB and I had a wonderful reunion, on Christmas Eve 2010. We saw each other a few times in January and February and talked about our future together. Then he "disappeared" again.

I contacted him for an explanation and he told me he'd moved in with a woman whilst I'd been away in NZ. Obviously I was livid that he hadn't told me this but it wasn't unreasonable that he should have met someone whilst I was away, just that he hadn't told me when I was still in NZ and asked him whether he was still single.

There was no contact for 4 months until he got in touch 3 weeks ago, he'd realised he'd made a huge mistake, been a coward and an idiot, he was going to leave this new girl and we could have our happy ever after in just a couple of weeks.

I met him for a lunch time drink to talk it out and I said I'd see him again after he'd moved out.

Since then I've finally done some internet research on SJB and I have discovered that he has been living with his "new" girlfriend for at least the past 8 years, not the past 18 months as he told me!

What a total scum bag, to her, to me, and to the countless other girls who have fallen for his lies. He'd given me a false address, turns out to be that of his brother or cousin maybe, even lied about his age. He'd been lying to me when I first met him, refused to leave me alone when I was attempting to build my new life and then I had stupidly turned to him when I was down and at my very lowest point.

He's still contacting me and stringing me the lies but he won't be receiving any reply from me. I haven't even told him I know the truth now. I've just turned my phone to silent and filtered his emails to the trash. Obviously I'm livid and I feel guilty for being involved in his stupid fantasy even though I didn't realise at the time, I think I should have realised and feel very foolish.

Thank you so much for reading my ridiculous story.

xxx Alison xxx

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