Where does it start and where does it end, it is love isnt it?

by Forever
(Missouri)

Dating a married man isnt really dating, he is married, it is more like sneaking around.Dating means going to a movie,dinner,someplace public,but wait,you cant he is married.My life changing experience began 5 years ago, wait,our friendship began 12 years ago.He was the Dr. working and I was the manager. It was a working based relationship only. I left the job after about 3 years and we didnt see each other in that time,until he called me in July of 06 and explained that he was opening his own practice and would I like to work for him.

We had always had a good friendship,so, Yes were my words. we never got the chance to start the practice.It was like a destiny for us,calling our names.Everytime we were together,there was such a magnetism between us,our affair started in early Sept.I was in an unhappy marriage and so was he.I realized I needed to leave my husband,it wasnt fair to him.In April of 07,I left him,with much coaxing from my married man.My kids were grown,my youngest was 16, his kids were still young,9,11 and 13 years of age.We decided he still needed to stay awhile with them.Little did I realize what type of heartache I was in for while waiting for a married man.Here it is 5 years later and I still wait.I am alone tonight and he is with his family.

I know that he loves me, and expects me to stay strong while I wait for him a FEW more years.We have been through many tough times, actually almost every week we argue about our situation.It is me that usually starts it, and me that usually apologizes.I have been to his office before,raising hell.

His wife has had to pick him up at my house before, I have been to his house and told his wife about our affair and how long it has been going on.I was at his church last month,sitting in the pew beside him and his family.We still work things out.We have lunch together almost everyday and have for 5 years,it will continue.We go for walks together. we have been seen together having sex in public places before.We email everyday and text. We try to be kinda descreet but his wife has had many,many chances to see us together but she never does. I know she is attracted to the money and there is alot involved.She also wants to keep her family together for the girls sake and I am sure she loves him,just like I do.

I have had many heartaches through all of this and sure many more will come and I question myself about us.When the time comes to leave,will my heart already be to damaged to repair it? Oh, and last week he bought her 500 thousand dollar house,I am unemployed and barely get by. Is love worth it?

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